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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 659578" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Is the child safe with the mother in normal day to day life?</p><p></p><p>Do you feel it is time to call Social Services in?</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>It's so hard to think what to do when our grown kids do these kinds of unbelievable things. They seem to believe, right down to the roots of their hair, that the normal, everyday things we all do to create our lives are somehow excruciatingly impossible for them. It is difficult to know whether drugs are the issue, or whether the kids are ill. Hard to know which came first. We don't know which way to turn or what to do or even how to think about it and yet, we feel we should do something. We wrap ourselves up in knots because nothing remotely like this is happening to our friends and we think maybe, since it looks like they know how to do this, there must be some crucial thing we are missing.</p><p></p><p>None of that is true, sooo tired.</p><p></p><p>It's the situation that is bad and wrong.</p><p></p><p>Not you.</p><p></p><p>The daughter has a boyfriend. It sounds like the fight between the two of them was intentionally blown out of control by one or both of them.</p><p>There is no way to know whether drug use was a piece of that or whether something else is going on or just why they do what they do. So, you only have to look at one thing: Is the child safe, or is it time to step in. The brother brought him to you. So, that tells me the brother knows when to take the child away.</p><p></p><p>So, there is nothing for you to do but enjoy this time with your grandson, and love him the best you know.</p><p></p><p>That is what grandmothers can do.</p><p></p><p>We can love them. </p><p></p><p>There was a time when we took our grands here and there. I don't think I have the energy to do that anymore.</p><p></p><p>But I don't know what's coming next, either.</p><p></p><p>So I just love them and love me and do the best I know, today.</p><p></p><p>Just for today, that will be enough, soooo tired.</p><p></p><p>Just for today.</p><p></p><p>Tomorrow will take care of itself.</p><p></p><p>That's the only way to get through any of this stuff we have no control over. Just do one little step at a time. Don't borrow trouble. Try not to catastrophize or predict. Just try to stay present, to stay right here in the moment.</p><p></p><p>I am glad you were there for your grandsons. Do you know how long the little one will be with you?</p><p></p><p>How is the older one taking all this?</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 659578, member: 17461"] Is the child safe with the mother in normal day to day life? Do you feel it is time to call Social Services in? It's so hard to think what to do when our grown kids do these kinds of unbelievable things. They seem to believe, right down to the roots of their hair, that the normal, everyday things we all do to create our lives are somehow excruciatingly impossible for them. It is difficult to know whether drugs are the issue, or whether the kids are ill. Hard to know which came first. We don't know which way to turn or what to do or even how to think about it and yet, we feel we should do something. We wrap ourselves up in knots because nothing remotely like this is happening to our friends and we think maybe, since it looks like they know how to do this, there must be some crucial thing we are missing. None of that is true, sooo tired. It's the situation that is bad and wrong. Not you. The daughter has a boyfriend. It sounds like the fight between the two of them was intentionally blown out of control by one or both of them. There is no way to know whether drug use was a piece of that or whether something else is going on or just why they do what they do. So, you only have to look at one thing: Is the child safe, or is it time to step in. The brother brought him to you. So, that tells me the brother knows when to take the child away. So, there is nothing for you to do but enjoy this time with your grandson, and love him the best you know. That is what grandmothers can do. We can love them. There was a time when we took our grands here and there. I don't think I have the energy to do that anymore. But I don't know what's coming next, either. So I just love them and love me and do the best I know, today. Just for today, that will be enough, soooo tired. Just for today. Tomorrow will take care of itself. That's the only way to get through any of this stuff we have no control over. Just do one little step at a time. Don't borrow trouble. Try not to catastrophize or predict. Just try to stay present, to stay right here in the moment. I am glad you were there for your grandsons. Do you know how long the little one will be with you? How is the older one taking all this? Cedar [/QUOTE]
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