Here we go......

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by timer lady, Mar 11, 2007.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    All in all, kt has had a wonderful home pass. She's had her moments (as all difficult children will).

    This morning over breakfast kt said "mom, we have to talk".

    kt went on to explain to me that she's a tween, almost a teen now. That her obnoxious rude behaviors are because she's almost a teen & that's okay.

    Ahhhhh, I don't think so. :nonono: I pretty much straightened out this notion. :warrior:

    You have to give it to my little (not so much anymore) ktbug - she's always in there thinking! :hammer:
     
  2. sue Jones

    sue Jones New Member

    Hi ,
    I have one like this :smile:
    LOL worth a try
     
  3. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    While it is true that kids become more obnoxious and rude when they are teens - it does not mean they are allowed to be more obnoxious and rude and use being a teen as an excuse for that behavior.

    As parents we do have to balance the changes in them with our own reactions by realizing that some of their behavior is due to them 'knowing it all' and us 'getting more dumb each day' - because that is really what is in their heads. Sometimes you just have to roll your eyes and shake your head because their thought processes are so skewed.

    It is part of them becoming independent. What I found helpful is letting difficult child know that I truly pondered her thought or opinion and I still disagree AND it is OK to disagree. I tell her when she is my age she just might think differently.
     
  4. On_Call

    On_Call New Member

    Linda,

    I'm glad the weekend went well.

    Yes, it sure sounds like kt's gears are always cranking. :smile: Wouldn't you love it if you could read a "script" of their thought processes when they come up with those zingers? I think I would find it fascinating. To think that she obviously spent quite a bit of time working that out - and then planning how she was going to approach you with it! :wink:

    Our difficult child is actually a bit afraid of becoming a teen because he has despised most teenagers he has come into contact with - they are mean, disrespectful and rude (his words) and he is afraid that at the stroke of midnight on his 13th birthday he will become all of those things, too.

    Their alternate perceptions are interesting, aren't they?
     
  5. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    I really had to stop myself from "stomping" all over kt's statements this morning. I was very gentle in reminding her that you give to get. To receive respect you need to give the same.

    kt is really struggling to figure out who she is; in this family, as a person & in coming to terms with her adoptive status & her bio family.

    AND she is always thinking of the "easy" way out for choices she makes. We took this time to work out a plan for her frustration - to practice taking "stop & think" time.

    As a mom, I really just wanted to stomp all over kt's proclamation of a teenager's entitlement to be rude & obnoxious.

    It seems I'm out of practice with the day by day things children, as a whole, difficult children in particular, throw your way on a daily basis.

    Time to grease up the old brain! :smile:
     
  6. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    Pretty much a typical teen statement to me. Doesn't mean that she's going to get away with it, though.

    My difficult children have a overwhelming need to have the last word. Especially, Daughter.

    I am learning when to let it go.
     
  7. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Kt bug sure is a thinker, huh? :biggrin: Sounds like she's gonna keep your mind as sharp as a tack. lmao

    Dazed, my easy child is one of those "got to have the last word" types. Didn't really notice til she hit the teens. Wasn't long til I would start cracking up over it. I mean please, when you see a normally very intelligent girl say something totally stupid just to insert the last word it can be funny if you let it. Add in that at the time easy child also loved to argue and she gave us ample opportunity to find the comedy in the situation. Eventually she joined in on the laughter.

    Too bad she still has to have the last word, though. :hammer:
     
  8. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    :smile: What a TEENager! :rofl:

    Glad your weekend went well.
     
  9. Janna

    Janna New Member

    Only a difficult child would find a way to justify behaviors with their age LOL. I told difficult child 2 today that he was being obnoxious. He said "well I AM 15!!!!!!!!!!!!".

    Umm, that doesn't work.

    Sheesh. Glad you stomped her theory right where it belongs.

    Janna
     
  10. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Linda,
    Glad you set kt straight. It does sound like a typical teen statement for sure.
     
  11. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    I don't do typical teen!!!! :rofl: It appears kt does :surprise:

    Thanks ladies. :bravo:
     
  12. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I'm sure that this journey towards self-realization for her will be difficult, especially consider the last several tumultuous months. My thoughts are with you all.
     
  13. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Sounds like a fridge magnet I saw once. It said something aimed at obnoxious teens along the lines of "Leave home now, while you still know everything!"

    Marg
     
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