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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 228684" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>gg no problem. I need input for this.</p><p> </p><p>The smoking is a defiance thing. Or rebellion type issue, let's face it, there isn't much the kid can rebell with. I do get that. I just haven't figured out how to solve the issue. </p><p> </p><p>The cleaning.....well........the neuro can explain far better than I. Let's just say after years of war and getting nowhere except a miserable kid....I believe the neuro. And honestly, even I had to get multiple opinions before it would fully sink in. He's ok with daily maintenance as long as someone makes sure he does it. But once it reaches the level of messy (even long before it's at the stage it is now) is when it causes problems. He'll clean just fine with either husband or I "talking him thru it". No objections either. We don't do a bit of the work, just keep him on task.</p><p> </p><p>I do try hard not to let his dxes and disabilities be an excuse. I'm not perfect at it though, and I know it. And his are so darn involved between the brain damage (extensive) and all that it gets awfully complicated at times. On one hand I do have to allow for the things he simply can't do. Even simple ordinary things we never even think about. Yet on the other, I have to push him to do the things I know he's able to do as much as he is capable of doing them. Often it's an extremely fine line to walk.</p><p> </p><p>Which is what drives me crazy with this kid. It always has. </p><p> </p><p>But I've got to solve the smoking thing because it is a fire hazard and I can't tolerate that. </p><p> </p><p>Yet simply tossing him out on his arse isn't a solution either, as it would be with your normal 22 year old. Travis is not normal. His maturity level hovers around age 12, sometimes better, sometimes worse. Add in all the other dxes and such........and the option of kicking him out for disrespect equals tossing a babe to the wolves. So I don't even feel able to use the threat with him.</p><p> </p><p>Does that make sense?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 228684, member: 84"] gg no problem. I need input for this. The smoking is a defiance thing. Or rebellion type issue, let's face it, there isn't much the kid can rebell with. I do get that. I just haven't figured out how to solve the issue. The cleaning.....well........the neuro can explain far better than I. Let's just say after years of war and getting nowhere except a miserable kid....I believe the neuro. And honestly, even I had to get multiple opinions before it would fully sink in. He's ok with daily maintenance as long as someone makes sure he does it. But once it reaches the level of messy (even long before it's at the stage it is now) is when it causes problems. He'll clean just fine with either husband or I "talking him thru it". No objections either. We don't do a bit of the work, just keep him on task. I do try hard not to let his dxes and disabilities be an excuse. I'm not perfect at it though, and I know it. And his are so darn involved between the brain damage (extensive) and all that it gets awfully complicated at times. On one hand I do have to allow for the things he simply can't do. Even simple ordinary things we never even think about. Yet on the other, I have to push him to do the things I know he's able to do as much as he is capable of doing them. Often it's an extremely fine line to walk. Which is what drives me crazy with this kid. It always has. But I've got to solve the smoking thing because it is a fire hazard and I can't tolerate that. Yet simply tossing him out on his arse isn't a solution either, as it would be with your normal 22 year old. Travis is not normal. His maturity level hovers around age 12, sometimes better, sometimes worse. Add in all the other dxes and such........and the option of kicking him out for disrespect equals tossing a babe to the wolves. So I don't even feel able to use the threat with him. Does that make sense? [/QUOTE]
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