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<blockquote data-quote="katya02" data-source="post: 228693" data-attributes="member: 2884"><p>Hi DL, I can appreciate your frustration. Re cleaning, maybe paring his room stuff down to very simple things would help streamline the task. Fewer clothing choices, less to drop on the floor, etc. (I don't know if this is a big part of it or it's more the food dishes.) The food stuff sounds like defiance at a basic level - if the rule is no food in the bedroom then even one dish or item is not ok - but the smoking issue is the big one. Safety, as you say, for you and husband along with T. </p><p></p><p>How does T get his cigarettes? I would do everything possible to limit his supply and/or control its location. We have a rule that no chew can be in difficult child's bedroom. I search his room whenever I wish (although it's much easier when he's out) and if I find any tobacco or tobacco products (like spit bottles), in the room, he loses his computer. If he argues he loses it longer. If I found cigs in his room he would lose it for good. </p><p></p><p>I agree with Judi that finding out about group homes/disabled living arrangements in the area is an idea, probably an important thing to do if T isn't willing to observe safety rules. When you have a Plan B it becomes much easier to stand firm, and I can't see how you can do anything else on the issue of smoking in the bedroom.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="katya02, post: 228693, member: 2884"] Hi DL, I can appreciate your frustration. Re cleaning, maybe paring his room stuff down to very simple things would help streamline the task. Fewer clothing choices, less to drop on the floor, etc. (I don't know if this is a big part of it or it's more the food dishes.) The food stuff sounds like defiance at a basic level - if the rule is no food in the bedroom then even one dish or item is not ok - but the smoking issue is the big one. Safety, as you say, for you and husband along with T. How does T get his cigarettes? I would do everything possible to limit his supply and/or control its location. We have a rule that no chew can be in difficult child's bedroom. I search his room whenever I wish (although it's much easier when he's out) and if I find any tobacco or tobacco products (like spit bottles), in the room, he loses his computer. If he argues he loses it longer. If I found cigs in his room he would lose it for good. I agree with Judi that finding out about group homes/disabled living arrangements in the area is an idea, probably an important thing to do if T isn't willing to observe safety rules. When you have a Plan B it becomes much easier to stand firm, and I can't see how you can do anything else on the issue of smoking in the bedroom. [/QUOTE]
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