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<blockquote data-quote="SearchingForRainbows" data-source="post: 228700" data-attributes="member: 3388"><p>Lisa,</p><p></p><p>I also agree with Judi and Katya. If Travis knows you're looking into other housing arrangements for him because of his refusing not to smoke in his bedroom, it just might dawn on him that you mean business. Just maybe, if he thinks he might have to move out, it might be enough to get him to stop doing it.</p><p></p><p>Also, I think it's reasonable that you ask him not to eat in his bedroom and to keep it somewhat clean. I agree with you and the others that this seems like a control issue. In my house, difficult child 2 is expected to keep his room clean. Like Travis, he has an extremely difficult time with keeping things organized. However, we don't let him off the hook. At times we make suggestions about where he can put his belongings, but it is up to him to clean up the mess. difficult child 2 knows that if he doesn't pick up his room and make his bed, he'll lose his Reward Time.</p><p></p><p>Now, I know there is a big difference between Travis, a grown man, and difficult child 2 who is still a minor - he'll be 17 shortly. Unfortunately, I don't know what you could use as an incentive to make him clean up. Once again, the only thing that comes to mind immediately, is if he knows you're looking into an alternative place for him to live.</p><p></p><p>I know the cleanliness of his room is a very minor issue compared with the smoking problem. However, if Travis is going to be living with you on a long term basis, in my humble opinion, he needs to respect the few things you ask of him. </p><p></p><p>I hope you find an answer to the smoking problem ASAP!!! I would be afraid to go to sleep at night too. Sorry I don't have any other suggestions. WFEN</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SearchingForRainbows, post: 228700, member: 3388"] Lisa, I also agree with Judi and Katya. If Travis knows you're looking into other housing arrangements for him because of his refusing not to smoke in his bedroom, it just might dawn on him that you mean business. Just maybe, if he thinks he might have to move out, it might be enough to get him to stop doing it. Also, I think it's reasonable that you ask him not to eat in his bedroom and to keep it somewhat clean. I agree with you and the others that this seems like a control issue. In my house, difficult child 2 is expected to keep his room clean. Like Travis, he has an extremely difficult time with keeping things organized. However, we don't let him off the hook. At times we make suggestions about where he can put his belongings, but it is up to him to clean up the mess. difficult child 2 knows that if he doesn't pick up his room and make his bed, he'll lose his Reward Time. Now, I know there is a big difference between Travis, a grown man, and difficult child 2 who is still a minor - he'll be 17 shortly. Unfortunately, I don't know what you could use as an incentive to make him clean up. Once again, the only thing that comes to mind immediately, is if he knows you're looking into an alternative place for him to live. I know the cleanliness of his room is a very minor issue compared with the smoking problem. However, if Travis is going to be living with you on a long term basis, in my humble opinion, he needs to respect the few things you ask of him. I hope you find an answer to the smoking problem ASAP!!! I would be afraid to go to sleep at night too. Sorry I don't have any other suggestions. WFEN [/QUOTE]
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