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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 343691" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Yep- that's the privacy policy we have had in place for a few years- since I saw it on Oprah. It goes like this- if he's in the bathroom or in his bedroom alone, being that he's a young man and I'm a mother, I will not barge into the room. If I knoock on the door and he doesn't respond or respond in a way that I believe he's safe, then I reserve the right to give him 20 seconds before I come in. Anything in his room or in this house or that belongs to him is subject to search by me at anytime- same as they have at school and at any psychiatric hospital or detention center. GAL didn't like this- but GAL also pointed finger at me for not knowing everything difficult child did every minute of the day. He's a minor, my legal responsibility, and in my home- I reserve the right. Oprah's guest said this is the best way but tell the kid up front so they don't feel betrayed- like a daughter would feel if a parent read a diary. I tried it- it worked- it's a policy I'm keeping for my son (not that I would do this with a house guest).</p><p></p><p>No back up plan, unfortunately. Family goes against me and is out of the area. I plan to try again to get PO to discuss details more specifically but I'm not holding my breath. The PO's in this jurisdiction always want (expect and require) parents to sign every detail to take responsibility for "supporting" what they put into place, but only say things like "it will be ok" or "we'll play that by ear" when the parent tries to get their backup for a home plan. Think about the way sd's try to work- this is what they try to sell as working together. It means the parent backs them up or is a horrible parent, but God forbid they should discuss parent's rules and support them. Yet they will be the first ones, along with a GAL, to point the finger at the parent when the difficult child messes up.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 343691, member: 3699"] Yep- that's the privacy policy we have had in place for a few years- since I saw it on Oprah. It goes like this- if he's in the bathroom or in his bedroom alone, being that he's a young man and I'm a mother, I will not barge into the room. If I knoock on the door and he doesn't respond or respond in a way that I believe he's safe, then I reserve the right to give him 20 seconds before I come in. Anything in his room or in this house or that belongs to him is subject to search by me at anytime- same as they have at school and at any psychiatric hospital or detention center. GAL didn't like this- but GAL also pointed finger at me for not knowing everything difficult child did every minute of the day. He's a minor, my legal responsibility, and in my home- I reserve the right. Oprah's guest said this is the best way but tell the kid up front so they don't feel betrayed- like a daughter would feel if a parent read a diary. I tried it- it worked- it's a policy I'm keeping for my son (not that I would do this with a house guest). No back up plan, unfortunately. Family goes against me and is out of the area. I plan to try again to get PO to discuss details more specifically but I'm not holding my breath. The PO's in this jurisdiction always want (expect and require) parents to sign every detail to take responsibility for "supporting" what they put into place, but only say things like "it will be ok" or "we'll play that by ear" when the parent tries to get their backup for a home plan. Think about the way sd's try to work- this is what they try to sell as working together. It means the parent backs them up or is a horrible parent, but God forbid they should discuss parent's rules and support them. Yet they will be the first ones, along with a GAL, to point the finger at the parent when the difficult child messes up. [/QUOTE]
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