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He's Impossible!
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 225994" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>The poor kid - he is feeling unloved and worthless. He need to be reminded that he is loved, but not by opening presents. That is not a measure of love.</p><p></p><p>He's also trying to manipulate you. He's hamfisted at it, but it's all he knows.</p><p></p><p>I do like the idea of sitting with him to make a list of things he is good at and things about himself he can be proud of.</p><p></p><p>If you need somewhere to start, use Tony Attwood's list of good qualities you find in people with Asperger's. I know he doesn't have an Aspie diagnosis, but check this list to see how close he gets.</p><p></p><p>I'm going from memory here - </p><p></p><p>Loyal. They're often more loyal to their friends and family, to people they value.</p><p></p><p>Loving. We don't always recognise this. If he didn't love his dad so much, the "no way!" wouldn't have hurt so much.</p><p></p><p>Obedient. At least to the rules as he understands them. He's probably not good at following lots of rules laid down all around him, or at following rules which change or are newly imposed, but he probably is very good at working out the rules for himself, and doing his best to follow them.</p><p></p><p>Determined. He wants to be good, more than anything else, but sometimes it feels too difficult. Yet he does keep trying.</p><p></p><p>Focussed. At least, when he can be, on the things he understands and likes best.</p><p></p><p>There are more good qualities. This is just a start.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 225994, member: 1991"] The poor kid - he is feeling unloved and worthless. He need to be reminded that he is loved, but not by opening presents. That is not a measure of love. He's also trying to manipulate you. He's hamfisted at it, but it's all he knows. I do like the idea of sitting with him to make a list of things he is good at and things about himself he can be proud of. If you need somewhere to start, use Tony Attwood's list of good qualities you find in people with Asperger's. I know he doesn't have an Aspie diagnosis, but check this list to see how close he gets. I'm going from memory here - Loyal. They're often more loyal to their friends and family, to people they value. Loving. We don't always recognise this. If he didn't love his dad so much, the "no way!" wouldn't have hurt so much. Obedient. At least to the rules as he understands them. He's probably not good at following lots of rules laid down all around him, or at following rules which change or are newly imposed, but he probably is very good at working out the rules for himself, and doing his best to follow them. Determined. He wants to be good, more than anything else, but sometimes it feels too difficult. Yet he does keep trying. Focussed. At least, when he can be, on the things he understands and likes best. There are more good qualities. This is just a start. Marg [/QUOTE]
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