Hi everyone.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by AtThe Brink, Aug 7, 2007.

  1. AtThe Brink

    AtThe Brink New Member

    I am glad to be here and I am sure I am going to find some very helpful information as I have been doing some reading already. I got your link from someone I know from another parenting board and I am glad she shared.
    A little about me:
    My husband and I have 3 children, one of which was diagnosed with ADHD when he was in 4k. He is not currently taking medications for his ADHD and has not for about 2 years. This year has proven to be extremely challenging for all that live in the house. DS is now 14 so it makes life very interesting. Every week now we are dealing with the local police department for various things regarding DS. Tomorrow he is scheduled for intake at Rogers Memorial Hospital. He has also been to WalkersPoint youth counseling center. I am hoping to get another diagnosis from "rogers". My DS's signs/symptoms are he has no remorse, lies, steals(from us and others), blames his misdoings on others, vandalism and no respect for others or anyone of authority. Also, he runs away ALOT. Doesn't come home or check in at all and follows NO rules whatsoever. He has absolutely no fear of the police. So, that is us in a nutshell. TIA for your help and support.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    First thing I think of is substance abuse, which can be cleverly concealed by our kids (I had a substance abusing daughter and had no clue). Secondly, it seems he may have been misdiagnosed as he behavior is extreme for ADHD. I think seeing a new Psychiatrist (with the MD) would be a good first step. At this point, he is out-of-control, like my daughter was. I can't stress to you enough how his behavior sounds like substance abuse, even if you don't think he is doing it. My daughter was busted twice for pot, and, although I hated that, I did believe that was all she did--it was the only thing she was ever CAUGHT doing. Now that she is 23 and has been straight for several years, I found out from her that she did EVERYTHING, including using ADHD drugs and snorting them both alone and with cocaine. She even shot up heroin once. She drank like a fish. Now that she is clean, she's like a completely different person! If your son is truly not abusing substances at all, I'd guess he has a serious psychiatric illness-perhaps a mood disorder such as bipolar. He would need different medications from ADHD medications to help that and would have to be willing to take them. It's going that he is being re-evaluated. Good luck! (Is the Rogers you're talking about in Wisconsin?)
  3. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome AttheBrink,
    I think many of us felt at the brink when we first found this site. I'm sorry things are so rough right now. I hope you can get some help from the doctors at Rogers Memorial Hospital. I'm glad you found us as you will find a very supportive group here!
  4. AtThe Brink

    AtThe Brink New Member

    Yes, Rogers is in Wi. You have heard of it?

    And yeah, I don't BELIEVE he is a substance abuser BUT he was hanging with someone who is a "known" pot smoker. And just the other day when we filed the missing persons report we also noticed that there was a bottle of UV Blue Vodka that had been taken from the house via him or one of his buddies. He says it wasn't him..........of course and he said he didn't see his friend take it.
    I am glad your daughter got herself clean. That is a huge fear of mine, that one of the kids will become an addict. Its tough because they have to hit the bottom to come back up.

    Oh, its funny you would say Bi-polar because my twin sisters boy has that.
  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I've heard of it. I never used it as I live further up.
    If your son is hanging with substance abusers (and often it isn't just pot, although they always SAY it's just pot), I would assume he is doing something. My daughter was the biggest and best liar during her substance abusing days. Of course, if we caught her with anything she was "holding it for somebody else." If we find a pipe in her room (that didn't happen for a few years--but she progressed) then somebody came over and planted it there to set her up. She could stare me in the eyes and swear that the cigarettes in her purse were not hers. She could even cry and act indignant that I didn't trust her. If your son is that out-of-control I would suspect drug abuse/alcohol abuse and spring a surprise home drug test on him. I don't know how good they are, but you could get your answer on at least if he was abusing anything AT THAT TIME. I have learned that while some kids use only pot, many hide behind pot and are using many other things. Amazingly, ADHD drugs are HIGH on the list of abused substances. M daughter says that one Adderrall was $10 a pill and kids faked ADHD to get them, stole from sibs, and that they're just all over the streets. The kids put them in pillcrushers and snort them (gross!) alone or with cocaine. They are addictive. My daughter was addicted to speed. Then she needed downers to sleep. Her moods and behavior were puzzling and impossible to explain. She got worse and worse as time went on so I'd try to nip it in the bud. Kids hang with like kids. My daughter started with pot at age twelve. We didn't find out she was doing drugs until she was busted and on parole at fifteen. And then we believed that she'd only used pot and had quit. I had never joined the drug scene, never even gotten drunk...lol...I was clueless. Hub suspected, but he is a stepfather and didn't want to get involved as I usually stuck up for my daughter. My daughter got some nifty labels from psychiatrists, all who missed the substance abuse, but, in the end, she acted out due to the drugs. Now that she's clean she doesn't display any symptoms of mental illness, although many mentally ill teens also abuse substances, which only makes it worse...
    I hope you find out what is going on and my heart is with you!
  6. AtThe Brink

    AtThe Brink New Member

    Thank you so much for your words of wisdom and support. Its really been a tough road to hoe. I can definitely appriciate advice, thoughts from others that have previously been there.
  7. Alisonlg

    Alisonlg New Member

    Glad you came over, ATB. I truly hope Rogers is of some help to your DS and your family. :::hugs:::
  8. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Originally Posted By: AtThe Brink
    Oh, its funny you would say Bi-polar because my twin sisters boy has that.

    There is a very strong genetic component believed to be involved with BiPolar (BP). If your sister is your identical twin, I'd bet there are a number of universities that would be VERY excited to talk to you about participating in one of their genetics studies (Johns Hopkins, Columbia U, Indiana U, Rush U, UC San Diego, UC San Francisco, U of Louisville, U of Pennsylvania, U of Iowa, U of Chicago to name a few)! And even if she's not identical, the fact that her son has BiPolar (BP) would make me very suspicious of your son's diagnosis.

    We participated in an ADHD genetics study at UCLA a few years back. Got some great info on my kids from the free neuropsychologist evaluations, gave a little bit of blood, and got paid for our efforts.

    Hope you can get some answers soon and get your difficult child into a treatment plan that helps!
  9. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    My sister's son was into drugs. She was in denial. Various nephews of mine knew about it but she wouldn't hear a thing against him, until she dropped his transistor radio one day and it fell open - to reveal a couple of joints. Of course he swore they weren't his, tried to blame it on a cousin who had been visiting, but since that cousin had told his mother and she had tried to tell her sister, it didn't wash.

    If he had been as innocent as he claimed, it would have been a one-off. It clearly wasn't, from other behaviour issues at the time, including stealing his grandfather's spare cash which he kept hidden in the freezer (remember, folks - drug-using teens are still smart enough to work out the usual hiding places, and the freezer is actually one of the first places burglars look).

  10. gottaloveem

    gottaloveem Active Member

    look in the teens and substance abuse forum for the post:
    34 signs your teen is using drugs
  11. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome! I agree with an evaluation. How did your sister get her son diagnosis'd? Is she in the same area as you? Can you go to same docs?

    How does he do in school? Academically? Behaviorally?
  12. AtThe Brink

    AtThe Brink New Member

    My sister is in Indiana, I am in Wi. Thing is, my sisters boy is MOODY. I don't really have that moodiness from my son. But that probably don't matter!?!? He doesn't do well in school at all. And he is disruptive in class. He could pull down some really good grades if he tried. He is very smart. But.........