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General Parenting
Hi, I' new here and in need of others that know how I feel....
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<blockquote data-quote="TeDo" data-source="post: 439153"><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 10px">This sounds so much like what I went through. Personally, I would question the diagnosis. I took the psychiatrist's word for it 3 years ago that my son had ADHD, ODD, Anxiety, and was on the fringe of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Turns out just a few months ago that my son is ACTUALLY on the Autism Spectrum. If you research this as I did, you will find that a lot of it is very, very similar. The way I realized the difference was to start "digging" with difficult child into the WHY of all his behavior. I realized he really did think very differently so his reactions were very different. Don't know if this helps or not but it's been my experience.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'">My son's got like this on Risperdal. It actually made him psychotic with a very hairpin trigger. Keep an eye on the medications and reactions. It took us 2 months to realize it was the Risperdal that was causing it.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 10px">This sounds exactly like something my difficult child would do. My son is a hands on learner which also means that he has to learn the hard way. Good job keeping it boring at home. That is exactly what was needed. The thing with my son and his Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), he would have had the thought in his head that being home would be more fun than going to school with his friends. I would have done the same thing only I would have added in chores of some sort also. I would have made it so it was too much work (not to mention boring) to skip school.</span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px">You didn't do anything "WRONG". You were at your whits end and reacted as most parents would. Now you know it didn't work so chances are you won't do it again. It takes a lot of practice to learn what works and what doesn't. It also takes time to learn the patience that is needed to deal with kids like ours. Give yourself a break. </span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'century gothic'"><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 10px">After I have lost my cool with my difficult child (yelling, spanking, everything I shouldn't do), he appears the same way. It tears at me and I feel so guilty but the more I think about it, it also had a benefit (in a twisted sort of way) in that difficult child realized he'd crossed the line and that it wouldn't be tolerated anymore. Very hard lesson to learn but he had to learn the hard way where my line was.</span></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 10px">I kept it from my family for 5 months until things exploded. My mother, being self-righteous and judgemental as she is, has made a point of trying to convince me that it is my bad parenting that has caused this. She refuses to believe that it is a neurological disorder and there was nothing I could have done "right" to prevent it. We are no longer speaking. I also have a sister that comes across as being like mom but she has researched and asked questions to try to understand it. She has come to be a support for me, although only limited because she still doesn't quite "get it" but she is learning. Don't keep them in the dark but don't tell them with the expectation that they will be a support. Be glad if they are, walk away if they're not. If they can't be supportive, you need to put YOUR family first, as hard as that can be.</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TeDo, post: 439153"] [FONT=comic sans ms][SIZE=2]This sounds so much like what I went through. Personally, I would question the diagnosis. I took the psychiatrist's word for it 3 years ago that my son had ADHD, ODD, Anxiety, and was on the fringe of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Turns out just a few months ago that my son is ACTUALLY on the Autism Spectrum. If you research this as I did, you will find that a lot of it is very, very similar. The way I realized the difference was to start "digging" with difficult child into the WHY of all his behavior. I realized he really did think very differently so his reactions were very different. Don't know if this helps or not but it's been my experience. [/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=2][FONT=comic sans ms]My son's got like this on Risperdal. It actually made him psychotic with a very hairpin trigger. Keep an eye on the medications and reactions. It took us 2 months to realize it was the Risperdal that was causing it. [/FONT][/SIZE] [FONT=comic sans ms][SIZE=2]This sounds exactly like something my difficult child would do. My son is a hands on learner which also means that he has to learn the hard way. Good job keeping it boring at home. That is exactly what was needed. The thing with my son and his Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), he would have had the thought in his head that being home would be more fun than going to school with his friends. I would have done the same thing only I would have added in chores of some sort also. I would have made it so it was too much work (not to mention boring) to skip school.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2]You didn't do anything "WRONG". You were at your whits end and reacted as most parents would. Now you know it didn't work so chances are you won't do it again. It takes a lot of practice to learn what works and what doesn't. It also takes time to learn the patience that is needed to deal with kids like ours. Give yourself a break. [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=century gothic][FONT=comic sans ms][SIZE=2]After I have lost my cool with my difficult child (yelling, spanking, everything I shouldn't do), he appears the same way. It tears at me and I feel so guilty but the more I think about it, it also had a benefit (in a twisted sort of way) in that difficult child realized he'd crossed the line and that it wouldn't be tolerated anymore. Very hard lesson to learn but he had to learn the hard way where my line was.[/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=comic sans ms][SIZE=2]I kept it from my family for 5 months until things exploded. My mother, being self-righteous and judgemental as she is, has made a point of trying to convince me that it is my bad parenting that has caused this. She refuses to believe that it is a neurological disorder and there was nothing I could have done "right" to prevent it. We are no longer speaking. I also have a sister that comes across as being like mom but she has researched and asked questions to try to understand it. She has come to be a support for me, although only limited because she still doesn't quite "get it" but she is learning. Don't keep them in the dark but don't tell them with the expectation that they will be a support. Be glad if they are, walk away if they're not. If they can't be supportive, you need to put YOUR family first, as hard as that can be.[/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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