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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 557058" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I have had a lot of experience with foster kids who were drug exposed in utero. Whether or not BM was clean at birth, the most damage is done in the beginning, when the fetus is developing...and if she drank, she was not clean. Drinking is as bad as other drug use for an unborn baby. So your daughter probably has issues related to her birthmom's drug and alcohol use. I doubt if she only has ADHD. Alcohol effects often show as ADHD, poor memory retention, poor impulse control, and sometimes trouble learning. Plus with the schizophrenia in both parents, you will have to watch her for that. It is hereditary. </p><p></p><p>It is almost a guarantee that a drug exposed child will be aggressive and have behavior problems. All drugs (alcohol included) have a strong potential for some organic brain damage. It gets me really angry too because our kids were abused by their birthmothers before they were even born. Are you in an adoption support group in real time? If not, I highly recommend it, especially a group of foster/adopt parents. There are remarkable similarities with our kids!</p><p></p><p>I agree 100% with TheBoyHasArrived on stimulants. In general, from what I've seen amongst drug affected kids, stimulants are rarely effective and make things worse rather than better. The ADHD behaviors you are seeing are probably not ADHD...they just look like it...partly.</p><p></p><p>I adopted three kids who were drug exposed. One has autistic spectrum disorder/cognitive disorder not otherwise specified. He is a very wonderful young adult now, age nineteen. Fortunately, he outgrew his behavior problems. The other two were drug/alcohol exposed. One was a psychopath. It does not sound like your daughter is anything like him...he killed animals and perped on our younger kids and we dissolved the adoption. The third was adopted around the same time as the psychopath...he actually is a nice kid, but because he was also abused by psychopath kid, he was put into foster care, liked the family, and we let them adopt him (long story). He DID have aggression issues and struggled badly in school.</p><p></p><p>You can not judge a foster child who has been exposed to drugs and has mental illness in the family the same way you judge another child. It is best to have the child completely evaluated. I would first go to a neuropsychologist. They do very intensive testing that usually lasts six to ten hours and can pick out if there are alcohol or drug behaviors/learning problems. After that test, to be thorough, take her to an Occupational Therapist (OT) and a PT. Our son with autism was not correctly diagnosed until he was eleven. These foster kids with drug exposure puzzled the crapola out of professionals, rightly so. They really don't fit into neat packages.</p><p></p><p>On top of that, if she had a very chaotic first four months, you could also be seeing some attachment issues. Together, they are potent adversaries.</p><p></p><p>Adopting foster kids is not for the faint of heart! And, as I said earlier, they tend to puzzle the medical professionals so you really need to get them to highly, highly aware professionals. </p><p></p><p>Last but not least, I did adopt a child from Korea and one in a private adoption that we watched being born. Neither of those two children were drug/alcohol affected. My oldest girl had a hard time as a teen and took drugs, but her childhood before that and her young adult years have been normal (since she quit the drugs). My youngest daughter is one of the most stable kids I ever met...she is sixteen. We got to know her birthmother well and she smoked cigarettes during her pregnancy, but didn't drink at all or use any drugs. I think the drugs and alcohol exposure make all the difference in our foster care/adopt kids. Not all adopted kids are screwed up, however adopted kids do tend to have a higher rate of mental health issues...maybe because more young women with mental illness put their kids up for adoption???? Not sure.</p><p></p><p>I wish you luck with your daughter and hope you keep us informed!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 557058, member: 1550"] I have had a lot of experience with foster kids who were drug exposed in utero. Whether or not BM was clean at birth, the most damage is done in the beginning, when the fetus is developing...and if she drank, she was not clean. Drinking is as bad as other drug use for an unborn baby. So your daughter probably has issues related to her birthmom's drug and alcohol use. I doubt if she only has ADHD. Alcohol effects often show as ADHD, poor memory retention, poor impulse control, and sometimes trouble learning. Plus with the schizophrenia in both parents, you will have to watch her for that. It is hereditary. It is almost a guarantee that a drug exposed child will be aggressive and have behavior problems. All drugs (alcohol included) have a strong potential for some organic brain damage. It gets me really angry too because our kids were abused by their birthmothers before they were even born. Are you in an adoption support group in real time? If not, I highly recommend it, especially a group of foster/adopt parents. There are remarkable similarities with our kids! I agree 100% with TheBoyHasArrived on stimulants. In general, from what I've seen amongst drug affected kids, stimulants are rarely effective and make things worse rather than better. The ADHD behaviors you are seeing are probably not ADHD...they just look like it...partly. I adopted three kids who were drug exposed. One has autistic spectrum disorder/cognitive disorder not otherwise specified. He is a very wonderful young adult now, age nineteen. Fortunately, he outgrew his behavior problems. The other two were drug/alcohol exposed. One was a psychopath. It does not sound like your daughter is anything like him...he killed animals and perped on our younger kids and we dissolved the adoption. The third was adopted around the same time as the psychopath...he actually is a nice kid, but because he was also abused by psychopath kid, he was put into foster care, liked the family, and we let them adopt him (long story). He DID have aggression issues and struggled badly in school. You can not judge a foster child who has been exposed to drugs and has mental illness in the family the same way you judge another child. It is best to have the child completely evaluated. I would first go to a neuropsychologist. They do very intensive testing that usually lasts six to ten hours and can pick out if there are alcohol or drug behaviors/learning problems. After that test, to be thorough, take her to an Occupational Therapist (OT) and a PT. Our son with autism was not correctly diagnosed until he was eleven. These foster kids with drug exposure puzzled the crapola out of professionals, rightly so. They really don't fit into neat packages. On top of that, if she had a very chaotic first four months, you could also be seeing some attachment issues. Together, they are potent adversaries. Adopting foster kids is not for the faint of heart! And, as I said earlier, they tend to puzzle the medical professionals so you really need to get them to highly, highly aware professionals. Last but not least, I did adopt a child from Korea and one in a private adoption that we watched being born. Neither of those two children were drug/alcohol affected. My oldest girl had a hard time as a teen and took drugs, but her childhood before that and her young adult years have been normal (since she quit the drugs). My youngest daughter is one of the most stable kids I ever met...she is sixteen. We got to know her birthmother well and she smoked cigarettes during her pregnancy, but didn't drink at all or use any drugs. I think the drugs and alcohol exposure make all the difference in our foster care/adopt kids. Not all adopted kids are screwed up, however adopted kids do tend to have a higher rate of mental health issues...maybe because more young women with mental illness put their kids up for adoption???? Not sure. I wish you luck with your daughter and hope you keep us informed! [/QUOTE]
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