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Hi new here would like some honest opinions about my daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 528672" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Hello Ashlee, first....welcome. You are among people who know first hand that YOU are the expert in your child and for sure you are NOT crazy. I can think of many here who can relate to you and especially am thinking of Malika (I bet she will check in but she is in France so may not see this for a little while)....because of the way you know there is something but others can't really see it or may dismiss it. </p><p></p><p>One thing that actually takes a lot of time to develop, and even when you do...it can waffle.... is to TRUST your GUT. One thing that is well researched and well documented is that early intervention is best. So, regardless of what is under all of this, the sooner you get help the better. </p><p></p><p>Typically it IS hard to get a firm diagnosis for a young child without an obvious genetic disorder, or tests that can show damage, etc. Exception is in the case of very low functioning kids of course. But for kids who can appear on the surface as relatively OK, parents are often blamed for their behavior (and heck, of course we can all improve, but most of us here have parenting issues because our kids are wired differently, they really need a different parenting road map and so of course we have issues too!)</p><p></p><p></p><p>OK, before I talk evaluations and books, just double checking. It will help to have more information about her early development, any issues with her birth etc? Any health issues? You told us about the family history for adhd/bipolar. And yes these CAN be issues so you are good to start now keeping notes of behaviors, times of day, foods eaten, situations surrounding the behaivors (transition, change in plans, weather, parties, social play dates etc.) because over the years this will support your need for help/therapy. You are smart to start this now, even if it ends up a phase, you have it if ever in the future she has another phase and it turns out to be a subtle something...smile. Most of us have tried more typical positive reinforcement methods (little stickers or treats for doing specific goals on a chart etc....all at her level so no earning things over a week at her age....) as well as traditional parenting consequences like short time outs and not attending to the negative behaviors etc. Taking a toy away that has been thrown or whatever... Most of us try and find these things have limited potential to change their behavior in the long run if they are truly wired differently. Have you been down this road already??? </p><p></p><p></p><p>So, first things first....do you have insurance that would cover an evaluation with an early childhood specialist in Neuropsychology or at a child development clinic? If you need a referral the way to ask for it is to (in my humble opinion) TELL them you need a referral to (X) you name the place etc. You do NOT want a referral to a typical psychiatric because they will make it about parenting issues (unless you feel your parenting is the reason but given you have two without issues, I doubt it). I suspect she has some underlying problems that need to be identified and this can be really tricky at her age.</p><p></p><p>What many of us do is to get a complete Occupational Therapist (OT) (occupational therapy) evaluation because there can be subtle or hidden issues like motor planning and sensory integration challenges which can really make a child driven to distraction. What comes in (sights, sounds, touch, smell, tastes) is not interpreted by the brain as a typical child. Some kids need more of some things and some need less...things can really bug them (does she have any issues with clothing or cover her ears or make lots of extra sounds or loud, do smells bother her, does she have eating issues of any kind--even picky??). Also get a complete Speech-Language Assessment (Speech Language Pathologist (SLP)) to make sure she is not frustrated in her communication. Of course hearing is checked and some kids can have normal hearing but again, what they hear may get mixed up in certain situations like when there is noise etc. At her age, teh Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) can start to watch to see if she is understanding words in different environments, can tell if she has good language but a hard time using it in social situations (to get her needs met etc...or does she use behavior for that communication when frustrated??)</p><p></p><p>Take those results to a neuropsycology evaluation. You will want a neuropsychologist who works with early childhood. A neuropsychologist is a psychologist who links behavior to how our brains are wired. So they have added training and do not automatically go to the conclusion that the child is just being raised incorrectly. </p><p></p><p>there are other ways, like a developmental pediatrician and a similar team approach. There are also Early Childhood developmental centers that specialize in chidhood behaviors and evaluations, working with mental and emotional health, developmental issues like autism etc. </p><p></p><p>The other thing that may help right away is to get the book What your Explosive Child is trying to tell you by Doug Riley. the other book many of us like is The Explosive Child by Ross Greene....there is a section here that talks about adapting that to the early childhood child. the first book has specific parts for early childhood and again if you search on this site you will even see comments when he came here to talk a little with people. (he is not an owner of this site or anything I am not advertising for him, it simply is really helpful). these people show us that there really is another way and helps to reduce the stress of parenting a child like this. </p><p></p><p>I have found used books on amazon.com for super low cost and the book I just got was in great shape though listed as "good". </p><p></p><p>Anyway, I am sure many questions and ideas are to come. Welcome to our group and please know I am sharing your tears. It is heart breaking when our kids struggle like this. So, sending you a supportive hand hold and hug.... Love, Dee (Buddy)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 528672, member: 12886"] Hello Ashlee, first....welcome. You are among people who know first hand that YOU are the expert in your child and for sure you are NOT crazy. I can think of many here who can relate to you and especially am thinking of Malika (I bet she will check in but she is in France so may not see this for a little while)....because of the way you know there is something but others can't really see it or may dismiss it. One thing that actually takes a lot of time to develop, and even when you do...it can waffle.... is to TRUST your GUT. One thing that is well researched and well documented is that early intervention is best. So, regardless of what is under all of this, the sooner you get help the better. Typically it IS hard to get a firm diagnosis for a young child without an obvious genetic disorder, or tests that can show damage, etc. Exception is in the case of very low functioning kids of course. But for kids who can appear on the surface as relatively OK, parents are often blamed for their behavior (and heck, of course we can all improve, but most of us here have parenting issues because our kids are wired differently, they really need a different parenting road map and so of course we have issues too!) OK, before I talk evaluations and books, just double checking. It will help to have more information about her early development, any issues with her birth etc? Any health issues? You told us about the family history for adhd/bipolar. And yes these CAN be issues so you are good to start now keeping notes of behaviors, times of day, foods eaten, situations surrounding the behaivors (transition, change in plans, weather, parties, social play dates etc.) because over the years this will support your need for help/therapy. You are smart to start this now, even if it ends up a phase, you have it if ever in the future she has another phase and it turns out to be a subtle something...smile. Most of us have tried more typical positive reinforcement methods (little stickers or treats for doing specific goals on a chart etc....all at her level so no earning things over a week at her age....) as well as traditional parenting consequences like short time outs and not attending to the negative behaviors etc. Taking a toy away that has been thrown or whatever... Most of us try and find these things have limited potential to change their behavior in the long run if they are truly wired differently. Have you been down this road already??? So, first things first....do you have insurance that would cover an evaluation with an early childhood specialist in Neuropsychology or at a child development clinic? If you need a referral the way to ask for it is to (in my humble opinion) TELL them you need a referral to (X) you name the place etc. You do NOT want a referral to a typical psychiatric because they will make it about parenting issues (unless you feel your parenting is the reason but given you have two without issues, I doubt it). I suspect she has some underlying problems that need to be identified and this can be really tricky at her age. What many of us do is to get a complete Occupational Therapist (OT) (occupational therapy) evaluation because there can be subtle or hidden issues like motor planning and sensory integration challenges which can really make a child driven to distraction. What comes in (sights, sounds, touch, smell, tastes) is not interpreted by the brain as a typical child. Some kids need more of some things and some need less...things can really bug them (does she have any issues with clothing or cover her ears or make lots of extra sounds or loud, do smells bother her, does she have eating issues of any kind--even picky??). Also get a complete Speech-Language Assessment (Speech Language Pathologist (SLP)) to make sure she is not frustrated in her communication. Of course hearing is checked and some kids can have normal hearing but again, what they hear may get mixed up in certain situations like when there is noise etc. At her age, teh Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) can start to watch to see if she is understanding words in different environments, can tell if she has good language but a hard time using it in social situations (to get her needs met etc...or does she use behavior for that communication when frustrated??) Take those results to a neuropsycology evaluation. You will want a neuropsychologist who works with early childhood. A neuropsychologist is a psychologist who links behavior to how our brains are wired. So they have added training and do not automatically go to the conclusion that the child is just being raised incorrectly. there are other ways, like a developmental pediatrician and a similar team approach. There are also Early Childhood developmental centers that specialize in chidhood behaviors and evaluations, working with mental and emotional health, developmental issues like autism etc. The other thing that may help right away is to get the book What your Explosive Child is trying to tell you by Doug Riley. the other book many of us like is The Explosive Child by Ross Greene....there is a section here that talks about adapting that to the early childhood child. the first book has specific parts for early childhood and again if you search on this site you will even see comments when he came here to talk a little with people. (he is not an owner of this site or anything I am not advertising for him, it simply is really helpful). these people show us that there really is another way and helps to reduce the stress of parenting a child like this. I have found used books on amazon.com for super low cost and the book I just got was in great shape though listed as "good". Anyway, I am sure many questions and ideas are to come. Welcome to our group and please know I am sharing your tears. It is heart breaking when our kids struggle like this. So, sending you a supportive hand hold and hug.... Love, Dee (Buddy) [/QUOTE]
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