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Holding steady. Rough seas, high winds...sailing along.
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<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 608766" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>husband and I are doing better, today. It means a lot to know you are all out there. Thanks to everyone who posted, and to everyone who read along and held a good thought for us. Outcome on this one was...more money. husband and I are probably playing a game with one another, in that when he says no, I convince him to say yes. When I (finally) say no, he says "Yes. But this is the last time and I don't care if I never hear from her, again." The same thing happened with difficult child son. Once I gave up, husband was full speed ahead.</p><p></p><p>Which is an interesting observation about how a couple finally stumble their ways into true detachment. </p><p></p><p>I hope. </p><p></p><p>Recovering, your post about love was so comforting. It stayed with me and finally, into my quote card file it went. I really like it. </p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>Here is an interesting thought. I am always talking about those moms who seem so strong and self-centered that their kids have no choice but to be healthy. If they do fall apart? She is able to leave them where they are without a second thought. She does this without condemning either the difficult child or herself. Just like that lady I know who talks about her difficult child as not having a pot to p*** in or a window to throw it out of. She's disgusted? But it has nothing to do with her ~ anymore than the success of her other children has anything to do with her. </p><p></p><p>I think I understand now how that kind of love works. </p><p></p><p>That is what your quote about love is teaching me, Recovering. </p><p></p><p>Unconditional love is a trap for the perfectionally oriented. (I just made that word up.) While it's a great goal, it isn't a realistic one, and it sets us up for denial. </p><p></p><p>Such a journey.</p><p></p><p>Oy vey.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 608766, member: 1721"] husband and I are doing better, today. It means a lot to know you are all out there. Thanks to everyone who posted, and to everyone who read along and held a good thought for us. Outcome on this one was...more money. husband and I are probably playing a game with one another, in that when he says no, I convince him to say yes. When I (finally) say no, he says "Yes. But this is the last time and I don't care if I never hear from her, again." The same thing happened with difficult child son. Once I gave up, husband was full speed ahead. Which is an interesting observation about how a couple finally stumble their ways into true detachment. I hope. Recovering, your post about love was so comforting. It stayed with me and finally, into my quote card file it went. I really like it. :O) Here is an interesting thought. I am always talking about those moms who seem so strong and self-centered that their kids have no choice but to be healthy. If they do fall apart? She is able to leave them where they are without a second thought. She does this without condemning either the difficult child or herself. Just like that lady I know who talks about her difficult child as not having a pot to p*** in or a window to throw it out of. She's disgusted? But it has nothing to do with her ~ anymore than the success of her other children has anything to do with her. I think I understand now how that kind of love works. That is what your quote about love is teaching me, Recovering. Unconditional love is a trap for the perfectionally oriented. (I just made that word up.) While it's a great goal, it isn't a realistic one, and it sets us up for denial. Such a journey. Oy vey. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Holding steady. Rough seas, high winds...sailing along.
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