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Home pass Sunday
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 39253" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Tracy... sigh. A big old hug to you. I totally understand the guilt of enjoying the peace at home. Oh my gosh, I just beat myself up for months when I realized that that weird feeling in the house was calm and how much I loved it! thank you's been in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) almost 7 years and he still can put us on edge during a home visit. But I'm also very protective of the calm. That's how it is supposed to be in a home. We get so numb, living with- the chaos and drama/trauma of gfgness, we forget that it's really abnormal to be in a state of fight or flight all the time.</p><p></p><p>I'm not sure thank you ever has really "missed" us. His perception is really skewed - I think he misses the *ideal* of home but he still is very challenged when it comes to actually functioning at home. You know... boundaries, responsibilities, and it's *not* all about him, LOL. He still is amazingly clueless about how hard the entire family has worked for him. I guess I don't expect him to acknowledge it anymore - it doesn't really matter, you know? It's done, it's over. At this point, I just hope he will be able to function outside of an institution someday. And if he can come home for a couple of days at a time without completely up-ending the balance we have now, that's great. </p><p></p><p>That probably sounds harsh... I don't mean it to. He is my thank you and a huge part of my very soul. But I'm not willing to sacrifice the safety and peace of our family home, of our *family*, anymore just to have him here. </p><p></p><p>I hope you have a great visit this weekend and that he exceeds your expectations.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 39253, member: 8"] Tracy... sigh. A big old hug to you. I totally understand the guilt of enjoying the peace at home. Oh my gosh, I just beat myself up for months when I realized that that weird feeling in the house was calm and how much I loved it! thank you's been in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) almost 7 years and he still can put us on edge during a home visit. But I'm also very protective of the calm. That's how it is supposed to be in a home. We get so numb, living with- the chaos and drama/trauma of gfgness, we forget that it's really abnormal to be in a state of fight or flight all the time. I'm not sure thank you ever has really "missed" us. His perception is really skewed - I think he misses the *ideal* of home but he still is very challenged when it comes to actually functioning at home. You know... boundaries, responsibilities, and it's *not* all about him, LOL. He still is amazingly clueless about how hard the entire family has worked for him. I guess I don't expect him to acknowledge it anymore - it doesn't really matter, you know? It's done, it's over. At this point, I just hope he will be able to function outside of an institution someday. And if he can come home for a couple of days at a time without completely up-ending the balance we have now, that's great. That probably sounds harsh... I don't mean it to. He is my thank you and a huge part of my very soul. But I'm not willing to sacrifice the safety and peace of our family home, of our *family*, anymore just to have him here. I hope you have a great visit this weekend and that he exceeds your expectations. [/QUOTE]
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