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Homeless 46 year old daughter and a son in jail
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 697757" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I understand your plight Jodie, at our age, after many, many years of chaos and drama, turning that around is a monumental task. It does become habitual. We've created neuro-pathways in our brains, like a new road, only it's the road of fear........I look at it like I have to create a new pathway in my brain, I have to bypass the fear and keep on going. To do that, I've had to become aware of how my thinking robs me of joy, how my thoughts can be detrimental to my own peace of mind. The thoughts create the feelings of doom, so changing the way I think has been the most beneficial thing I've done. It's like a runaway train, my own thoughts can take me on a ride I don't want to be on......so my way out of that is....<em>get off the train.</em></p><p></p><p>I had that childhood of fear and chaos too.......it's a lifelong issue and it has kept me stuck in the future trying to avert disaster...like you I've worked hard to change the patterning. I think it's a continuing work in progress where we use the tools we know that work.....for me those tools are staying right here in the present moment, not running in to the future trying to figure out how to control it and recognizing when those fear thoughts invade my mind and shifting them into gratitude. Elkhart Tolle and Pema Chodron have helped me with that. Books like The power of now & A New Earth by Tolle and Comfortable with Uncertainty and Places that scare you by Chodron.</p><p></p><p>I do a lot to stay present in the moment, making sure I eat right, exercise, get enough sleep.....the basic things which many of us can miss when we are focused on others. Along with the basics, meditation, some kind of practice of mindfulness which suspends the overactive mind filled with fear thoughts, yoga, Tai Chi.....even a short break from the relentless thinking can do a world of good. For me, the overthinking is what brings me down so I do a lot to stop that. I think many of us who come from chaotic backgrounds share this trait. </p><p></p><p>I'm glad your daughter is doing better. </p><p></p><p>Hang in there Jodie.....one thing you can try anytime is to go on Youtube and search guided meditations for peace of mind, anxiety, worry.......listening to those can help to detach you from the fearful thinking....each little step makes a big difference.</p><p></p><p>Sending you a hug......be very, very kind to yourself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 697757, member: 13542"] I understand your plight Jodie, at our age, after many, many years of chaos and drama, turning that around is a monumental task. It does become habitual. We've created neuro-pathways in our brains, like a new road, only it's the road of fear........I look at it like I have to create a new pathway in my brain, I have to bypass the fear and keep on going. To do that, I've had to become aware of how my thinking robs me of joy, how my thoughts can be detrimental to my own peace of mind. The thoughts create the feelings of doom, so changing the way I think has been the most beneficial thing I've done. It's like a runaway train, my own thoughts can take me on a ride I don't want to be on......so my way out of that is....[I]get off the train.[/I] I had that childhood of fear and chaos too.......it's a lifelong issue and it has kept me stuck in the future trying to avert disaster...like you I've worked hard to change the patterning. I think it's a continuing work in progress where we use the tools we know that work.....for me those tools are staying right here in the present moment, not running in to the future trying to figure out how to control it and recognizing when those fear thoughts invade my mind and shifting them into gratitude. Elkhart Tolle and Pema Chodron have helped me with that. Books like The power of now & A New Earth by Tolle and Comfortable with Uncertainty and Places that scare you by Chodron. I do a lot to stay present in the moment, making sure I eat right, exercise, get enough sleep.....the basic things which many of us can miss when we are focused on others. Along with the basics, meditation, some kind of practice of mindfulness which suspends the overactive mind filled with fear thoughts, yoga, Tai Chi.....even a short break from the relentless thinking can do a world of good. For me, the overthinking is what brings me down so I do a lot to stop that. I think many of us who come from chaotic backgrounds share this trait. I'm glad your daughter is doing better. Hang in there Jodie.....one thing you can try anytime is to go on Youtube and search guided meditations for peace of mind, anxiety, worry.......listening to those can help to detach you from the fearful thinking....each little step makes a big difference. Sending you a hug......be very, very kind to yourself. [/QUOTE]
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