Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Honeymoon's Over I Guess
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 385124" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>When he comes back, start over. Assume he HAS reacted to the "you are grounded..." that he thought he heard, and say, "We will start over, but only because I think you misunderstood. I said you CAN always be grounded, I did not say you were. Now tell me, can you explain to me now why I should not ground you, based on your behaviour? Now is your chance to calmly talk to me and explain why I should give you another chance to simply get your outstanding work completed."</p><p></p><p>Or perhaps even more plainly - "I am giving you some rope here. I am giving you the benefit of the doubt, that you misunderstood. So I am starting over with my request. You have homework that MUST be done. I am prepared to help you, but I can't do it for you. But it must be done. If you do not do it, I have the power, and the right, to ground you over the next few days during which time you will get the work done. I would rather not ground you, especially when you have been doing so well and I have been so proud of you. But think of how you just behaved - that was not good and was not helpful to you in any way. So let's start over - here is the work, here is the pen, do you need any help from me with it? Let's get started now. Spend half an hour really focussing on this and see how much you can accomplish in just half an hour. Then we will discuss how you're going."</p><p></p><p>What I've found often happens, is the child is often very resistant to beginning the homework but once a genuine start is made, they tend to continue until it's done. Half an hour can actually pass quickly and productively, ONCE THEY START.</p><p></p><p>Your main aim here - the homework, right? Just checking. Because if that is the case, ignore the behaviour pretty much, if in dealing with the behaviour you risk losing your main objective.</p><p></p><p>You did well to stay calm. And it was good that you noticed the possible misunderstanding as the flip-out switch. Deal with that, and you might achieve objective no 1. You might even get a free apology, if he realises you were not YET grounding him.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 385124, member: 1991"] When he comes back, start over. Assume he HAS reacted to the "you are grounded..." that he thought he heard, and say, "We will start over, but only because I think you misunderstood. I said you CAN always be grounded, I did not say you were. Now tell me, can you explain to me now why I should not ground you, based on your behaviour? Now is your chance to calmly talk to me and explain why I should give you another chance to simply get your outstanding work completed." Or perhaps even more plainly - "I am giving you some rope here. I am giving you the benefit of the doubt, that you misunderstood. So I am starting over with my request. You have homework that MUST be done. I am prepared to help you, but I can't do it for you. But it must be done. If you do not do it, I have the power, and the right, to ground you over the next few days during which time you will get the work done. I would rather not ground you, especially when you have been doing so well and I have been so proud of you. But think of how you just behaved - that was not good and was not helpful to you in any way. So let's start over - here is the work, here is the pen, do you need any help from me with it? Let's get started now. Spend half an hour really focussing on this and see how much you can accomplish in just half an hour. Then we will discuss how you're going." What I've found often happens, is the child is often very resistant to beginning the homework but once a genuine start is made, they tend to continue until it's done. Half an hour can actually pass quickly and productively, ONCE THEY START. Your main aim here - the homework, right? Just checking. Because if that is the case, ignore the behaviour pretty much, if in dealing with the behaviour you risk losing your main objective. You did well to stay calm. And it was good that you noticed the possible misunderstanding as the flip-out switch. Deal with that, and you might achieve objective no 1. You might even get a free apology, if he realises you were not YET grounding him. Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Honeymoon's Over I Guess
Top