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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 435478" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I think birth control would be something I would be willing to pay a difficult child for. Not the pill because it is way too easy to skip one or take them at the wrong time (if you don't take them at the same time every day, within about a 1 hour window, the pill currently in use is too low a dose to be effective. 1 hour oversleeping or forgetting could result in a child is too big a risk to take, in my opinion.) </p><p></p><p>Maybe offer her twenty or fifty bucks to get the depo shot every three months. If she is late getting the next shot the amt is cut by ten bucks a week until she gets it might be a good arrangement/incentive. It would be a lot cheaper than raising a grandchild, paying difficult child's hospital bills and doctor bills, and a whole lot less worry and conflama for YOU.</p><p></p><p>I would strip the room to make it someplace she does not want to return to. I would also make the rules, and insist that if she is not living in your house every night then she must call before coming over and be very polite while she is there. No taking ANYTHING with-o asking as it is no longer her home, no dropping in, no showing up under the influence of anything, respectful behavior and if you say it is a bad time then she cannot come over. </p><p></p><p>Whether you drag her back or allow her to stay with the other family, take her house key away. It would be very tempting when she is angry with you to come over and steal or vandalize. It would also be easy to come in with friends when you are not home and to rob you blind. You have to make sure she has a place to live. even if she lives with you she does NOT have to have a house key. </p><p></p><p>Make SURE the other mother does NOT allow her to drive and does NOT sign for her to get temps or anything else. because as her custodial parents, if she has an accident it would be YOUR liability not this other mother's. Whatever happens, communicate your wishes and intentions to this other mother face to face and follow up with a letter sent return receipt requested. Then file that receipt away so that if something happens and they try to blame you,.then you can say No, we agreed to this and you had written notice of the agreement. In the letter put a clause that says if she does not contact you with changes/problems or refusal to accept difficult child living with her within thirty days of the receipt of the letter than the agreement is in force. This will protect you legally from the mom saying she didn't know or didn't agree. A court will say she could have changed it or declined the responsiblity but chose not to by not contacting you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 435478, member: 1233"] I think birth control would be something I would be willing to pay a difficult child for. Not the pill because it is way too easy to skip one or take them at the wrong time (if you don't take them at the same time every day, within about a 1 hour window, the pill currently in use is too low a dose to be effective. 1 hour oversleeping or forgetting could result in a child is too big a risk to take, in my opinion.) Maybe offer her twenty or fifty bucks to get the depo shot every three months. If she is late getting the next shot the amt is cut by ten bucks a week until she gets it might be a good arrangement/incentive. It would be a lot cheaper than raising a grandchild, paying difficult child's hospital bills and doctor bills, and a whole lot less worry and conflama for YOU. I would strip the room to make it someplace she does not want to return to. I would also make the rules, and insist that if she is not living in your house every night then she must call before coming over and be very polite while she is there. No taking ANYTHING with-o asking as it is no longer her home, no dropping in, no showing up under the influence of anything, respectful behavior and if you say it is a bad time then she cannot come over. Whether you drag her back or allow her to stay with the other family, take her house key away. It would be very tempting when she is angry with you to come over and steal or vandalize. It would also be easy to come in with friends when you are not home and to rob you blind. You have to make sure she has a place to live. even if she lives with you she does NOT have to have a house key. Make SURE the other mother does NOT allow her to drive and does NOT sign for her to get temps or anything else. because as her custodial parents, if she has an accident it would be YOUR liability not this other mother's. Whatever happens, communicate your wishes and intentions to this other mother face to face and follow up with a letter sent return receipt requested. Then file that receipt away so that if something happens and they try to blame you,.then you can say No, we agreed to this and you had written notice of the agreement. In the letter put a clause that says if she does not contact you with changes/problems or refusal to accept difficult child living with her within thirty days of the receipt of the letter than the agreement is in force. This will protect you legally from the mom saying she didn't know or didn't agree. A court will say she could have changed it or declined the responsiblity but chose not to by not contacting you. [/QUOTE]
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