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Horrible Visit
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<blockquote data-quote="MuM_of_OCD_kiddo" data-source="post: 450026" data-attributes="member: 12241"><p>You know what I see from the outside looking in? Power trip!</p><p></p><p>As you say, he knows how the play the game under observation. He knows [thinks so anyways] that he has the upper hand when he comes home and you are [in his eyes] powerless. He probably already spend the last week or two [or however long he has been there] in planning ahead on how to make you more miserable the next time around, how to be more devious or sneaky about it, and how to escalate the damage and misery in your home.</p><p></p><p>Turn the playing field upside down and reclaim your power! By refusing to let him come home - and making it clear why he is not coming home and putting the responsibility for that decision where it belongs - you'll pull the rug out from under him. All of the sudden he will realize that you DO NOT HAVE TO PUT UP WITH HIS CR*P, and that you have choices too. You do have a younger child to protect, and as much as I hate it for your older one - at 17 he is nearly an adult and his choices reflect the outcome of his future. The sooner he gets that part, the better for him [getting that through to him may be a hard row to hoe, and you may not succeed]. I'd say if he is so unwilling to adjust to living in your home, then look at alternatives for him to go to. Youth Challenge, Job Corp, whatever these programs are called in your area are places for alternative placement as well, if he is mentally well enough to survive there.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes you just gotta do, what you got to do, no matter how hard or how much you hate it! Hugs!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="MuM_of_OCD_kiddo, post: 450026, member: 12241"] You know what I see from the outside looking in? Power trip! As you say, he knows how the play the game under observation. He knows [thinks so anyways] that he has the upper hand when he comes home and you are [in his eyes] powerless. He probably already spend the last week or two [or however long he has been there] in planning ahead on how to make you more miserable the next time around, how to be more devious or sneaky about it, and how to escalate the damage and misery in your home. Turn the playing field upside down and reclaim your power! By refusing to let him come home - and making it clear why he is not coming home and putting the responsibility for that decision where it belongs - you'll pull the rug out from under him. All of the sudden he will realize that you DO NOT HAVE TO PUT UP WITH HIS CR*P, and that you have choices too. You do have a younger child to protect, and as much as I hate it for your older one - at 17 he is nearly an adult and his choices reflect the outcome of his future. The sooner he gets that part, the better for him [getting that through to him may be a hard row to hoe, and you may not succeed]. I'd say if he is so unwilling to adjust to living in your home, then look at alternatives for him to go to. Youth Challenge, Job Corp, whatever these programs are called in your area are places for alternative placement as well, if he is mentally well enough to survive there. Sometimes you just gotta do, what you got to do, no matter how hard or how much you hate it! Hugs!!! [/QUOTE]
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