Hospitalization #3

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Hexemaus, Feb 22, 2007.

  1. Hexemaus

    Hexemaus Active Member

    Well, it's been a rough few days, but suffice it to say, difficult child 2 was hospitalized yesterday for his 3rd time. Since his father's death he has steadily spiraled downward. Tuesday night he crossed the line. Through the course of his meltdown he grabbed me by the throat and pinned me to the wall, screaming I'm going to kill you. The look on his face was a mix of absolute rage and absolute terror. It sent chills all over.

    We spent 6 hours in the ER that night, got sent home (only because he was calm, almost falling asleep, and they had a bed waiting for him for the next morning) We were sent to a short-term Residential Treatment Center (RTC) (their description, not mine) over in South Carolina where he was admitted yesterday. I meet with the doctors today at 1pm for an initial treatment plan. He'll spend 3-14 days on the unit he's in now while they decide if he needs longer inpatient care or their intensive outpatient program. If he needs longer inpatient care, they will find him a bed at the state hospital down in south Georgia. He'll have up to 30 days there for them to find him a bed in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC).

    So far, this whole thing seems surreal. It also seems like alot of shuffling him around before getting him situated somewhere, but that's the way we have to do it in order for insurance to cover it. (Talk about going around your :censored2: to get to your elbow!!) What a pain!

    I don't know what to expect at this point. I don't know what the docs will recommend this afternoon. I'm not sure I really care one way or another how we go about doing this - that's just details - I just want them to help my son before he hurts someone else. The kid is 13 years old, weighs in at 154lbs, with size 9 shoes. He outweighs me, is stronger than me, is taller than me, and when full of rage, is as strong (if not stronger) than a full grown man. (He's wearing his father's cloths, so at 13 he's as big as his father & not done growing yet!!) I just want him to get the help he needs. How we do that & what hoops we have to jump through for insurance purposes is secondary, at this point.

    I am just so doggone tired and sore and just....defeated.
     
  2. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Well, you know you did the right thing. You can't handle him and he's spiraling downward. I'm just sorry that you are all having to go through this right now. Hugs and prayers. :angel:
     
  3. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Hex,

    I'm so sorry for difficult child. I understand that feeling of exhaustion; defeat.

    Get some sleep, lady.
     
  4. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    Do any of the facilities deal with developmental delays? Of course, he needs to be stable and not violent but the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) is another twist to the treatment plan. I'm sorry to hear he isn't doing well.
     
  5. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    I'm so sorry to read this.

    You must be emotionally and physically worn to a frazzle.

    Big hug
     
  6. house of cards

    house of cards New Member

    So sorry, I hope he gets the help he needs and you can recharge your energies. I haven't been where you are, but I am amazed at the perserverance so many of you long term warrior moms have shown. I am praying for renewed strength and wise doctors.
     
  7. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Hex--So sorry to hear about difficult child 3. It's such a hard thing to have a child whom you are afraid of. I am just getting to the point where I can feel comfortable when alone with my difficult child and he has never actually hit me--just walls and furniture. I hope that he can get the help he needs and stabalizes soon. You have all been through so much and I'm sure that losing your father as a young man has to be so tramatic. I'm in SC. PM me if I can help.
     
  8. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    Hugs to you and difficult child.
     
  9. Loris

    Loris New Member

    I hope you get him stable soon. You'll both be in my thoughts and prayers. I know how hard this is for you.
     
  10. Janna

    Janna New Member

    Hi Hex,

    I have been thinking about you alot. I'm glad you showed up, although sorry for the reason you're here.

    I'm sure difficult child 2 doesn't even probably realize what he's doing as it is occuring. How scary for you both that you went through that.

    Keep us posted as to how things are going. I miss seeing you around.

    Hugs, my friend.

    Janna
     
  11. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Sounds like a heck of a past couple of days. It sounds scary for both of you but I'm glad no one was hurt. Hang in there. Even with all of the shuffling, he's getting help. Hugs.
     
  12. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Hex


    I know it hurts. Saying a prayer they can put a halt to the downward spiral.

    Hang in there.
    (((((hugs))))))
     
  13. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    I have been wondering about you. I have to say although you are certainly having a horrid time, you are not defeated. as tired as you are, as discouraged as a person can be...you are still seeking solutions, being proactive and not crawling under a rock. although you would like to I am sure.

    May this be a good day. May solutions come to light in a way that is much much better than anticipated. May your son get the help he and you need. May you rest peacefully tonight when your head (finally ) hits the pillow.

    Janet
     
  14. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry for your hurting heart. Hugs :angel:
     
  15. Sara PA

    Sara PA New Member

    It took four grown men to hold down my 15 year old when he was taking Celexa, the weaker version version of Lexapro.
     
  16. ellenr1

    ellenr1 New Member

    jUst wanted to send you my prayers and best wishes for your family. My son has been hospitalized four times and it's so exhausting, even though it's a relief to have him in a safe place where he can't hurt himself or anyone else. There's not much else you can do when your boy is now strong enough to overpower you physically.

    I hope he can get the help he needs and that you will have a bit of a break to catch your breath and heal.

    You are not defeated, you are a Warrior Mom.
     
  17. jodyice

    jodyice New Member

    Hex, I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. I can understand how hard it is. I hope he gets the help he needs. It's no picnic to have that feeling inside of being afraid of anyone let alone our children. I'm still going through it myself. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us posted.
     
  18. Hexemaus

    Hexemaus Active Member

    Well, the meeting went well yesterday. I'm comfortable with the route the psychiatrists are taking at this point.

    We have finally, after years of no one listening to me, taken the ADHD diagnosis off the table. New psychiatrist says that should have been a no-brainer as the only symptom difficult child 2 has of ADHD is impulsivity. Not enough, on it's own, for an ADHD diagnosis.

    We have confirmed the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified diagnosis at this point. psychiatrist has seen enough traits and characteristics to add his agreement for that one.

    He's not sure on the Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) or the DBD (Disruptive Behavior Disorder), so those will stay for now.

    However, we're back to trying to rule out a mood disorder as well again, so we're adding Mood Disorder-not otherwise specified to the alphabet soup.

    They are dropping his dose of Adderall down to 10mg - just to help with the impulse control problems. We are dropping Lexapro and going with Prosac. (difficult child 2 has had allergic reactions to Zoloft and a few other medications, so we're going with an older, established, more studied medication for his anxiety and frustration tolerance.) We're also adding 5mg Abilify to help with his aggression and mood difficulties.

    We'll see where those medications take us over the weekend. So far, he's being a great kid, but they're also seeing some of his low frustration tolerance in the way he responds to the other kids. Nothing like what we see at home, but enough indications for them to see that he struggles with anything that doesn't fit into "his" plan of how the world should be and what should happen next.

    I meet with the treatment team again on Monday. We'll see where we go from there. I do know that I'm firing the old psychiatrist. Every member of the new team agrees that the nurse at old psychiatrist's office should have paged him immediately when I told her difficult child was threatening to kill me and trying to choke me. (Well duh-huh! How much further into crisis does he have to go before psychiatrist's office is willing to page the man!?!) Instead, she said her hands were tied and the psychiatrist would get the message in the morning. Gee, thanks. What a moron!!!!

    difficult child's team and I are working on finding a psychiatrist who specializes in spectrum kids. I may have to drive to Atlanta or Columbia once a month, as I doubt we're going to find one around here. At least not one who can handle difficult child 2's multiple issues. He is, by all accounts, somewhat unique compared to most of the kids the psychiatrists around here are used to dealing with. If I have to make the drive once a month to find the right person, well then, we'll just have to make a day trip of it or something. Whatever it takes.

    Hopefully, I covered all the bases. I have so much going on at the moment between difficult child, school, work, moving, etc. I'm feeling somewhat fragmented these days.

    I hope you all know how much it means to me to have this board and all of you. Life with my difficult children would be so much harder without the love and support of the folks here. You guys are my lifeline, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. :smile:
     
  19. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hex,

    It's good to hear from you, but I wish it wasn't on such bad terms.

    I'm glad you had a good meeting and you feel that the docs and staff are listening - it is the best we hope for.

    I'll be thinking about your son and keeping him in my prayers. How are the other two doing with their brother hospitalized?

    Take care of yourself,
    Sharon
     
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