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General Parenting
Hour in the bathroom with-a blanket, pillows, magazine and cell ph, therapist on speed dial
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 531359" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>he doesnt have to be perfect......we just need to get him a bit user friendly!"</p><p></p><p>Good one, Lovelyboy! lol.</p><p></p><p>I'm a bookaholic, too. Shapiro sounds familiar. I may have another book by that author.</p><p></p><p>Giulia, part of it is teaching difficult child to just live through the anger with-o using gaming as a crutch. He states that he will die or kill himself or whatever if he cannot game, because "You KNOW that's the only way I can calm down!"</p><p>Wrong. He calmed down all by himself that day. No gaming. </p><p>Now, when he's calm, I ask him what went through his head and remind him that while it was unpleasant, he did calm down with-o that Xbox. He won't remember most of it, but will remember enough that he can slowly teach himself over time. </p><p>The therapist and I (and husband) always give him an "atta boy!" when he can behave and act politely. Today he asked if he was being good and whether he could earn some time on his game. I told him since it was a Friday he could (I was surprised that he can still talk to his friends online on the Xbox, even though he's not really on Xbox live. I still don't understand the system.</p><p>One of the other things is that he has to learn to trust our judgment as parents, and that we WILL back up our promises. I not only took the TV cord, but the Xbox case and hid them in two different places. He did one chore and I gave him back the Xbox. But I had him do a lot more before he got the TV cord back.</p><p>Still, he did get it back so he shouldn't be thinking I take things and return them on a whim.</p><p></p><p>Another thing we used to do, Giuliana, was teach him not to shoulder check me, hit me, grab my arm or back me into a corner. I would have to do a face-off, which wasn't easy, because I'm claustrophobic, and he'd be right in my face. (He was this wk, too, spitting as he yelled. I hate it when that happens.) So in the middle of a fight, I have to say, "Stand back 12" or I won't listen to you."</p><p>That kind of thing. It really does teach him. Does that answer your question?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 531359, member: 3419"] he doesnt have to be perfect......we just need to get him a bit user friendly!" Good one, Lovelyboy! lol. I'm a bookaholic, too. Shapiro sounds familiar. I may have another book by that author. Giulia, part of it is teaching difficult child to just live through the anger with-o using gaming as a crutch. He states that he will die or kill himself or whatever if he cannot game, because "You KNOW that's the only way I can calm down!" Wrong. He calmed down all by himself that day. No gaming. Now, when he's calm, I ask him what went through his head and remind him that while it was unpleasant, he did calm down with-o that Xbox. He won't remember most of it, but will remember enough that he can slowly teach himself over time. The therapist and I (and husband) always give him an "atta boy!" when he can behave and act politely. Today he asked if he was being good and whether he could earn some time on his game. I told him since it was a Friday he could (I was surprised that he can still talk to his friends online on the Xbox, even though he's not really on Xbox live. I still don't understand the system. One of the other things is that he has to learn to trust our judgment as parents, and that we WILL back up our promises. I not only took the TV cord, but the Xbox case and hid them in two different places. He did one chore and I gave him back the Xbox. But I had him do a lot more before he got the TV cord back. Still, he did get it back so he shouldn't be thinking I take things and return them on a whim. Another thing we used to do, Giuliana, was teach him not to shoulder check me, hit me, grab my arm or back me into a corner. I would have to do a face-off, which wasn't easy, because I'm claustrophobic, and he'd be right in my face. (He was this wk, too, spitting as he yelled. I hate it when that happens.) So in the middle of a fight, I have to say, "Stand back 12" or I won't listen to you." That kind of thing. It really does teach him. Does that answer your question? [/QUOTE]
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Hour in the bathroom with-a blanket, pillows, magazine and cell ph, therapist on speed dial
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