difficult child flew in the door today and demanded that I take him to his friends' house, K and D. They're the ones whose mom and dad are on drugs and lost custody so the grandmother is raising them, along with-their younger brother, who is autistic. (Personally, I think that D is an Aspie ...) I said no. In view of the poor decisions he's made lately, I want to keep him home, underfoot. He blew up. Knocked over a chair and kicked another chair into my leg. "Owowow! Get me an icepack!" He gets one from the freezer, gives it to me, then continues his tirade. He finally tried to negotiate to get the Xbox/TV cord and I had originally said yes, later, after I calm down. He followed me upstairs and blew up even more, because he couldn't have it right that second, and "THAT'S THE ONLY THING THAT CALMS ME DOWN. IF I CAN'T GO TO MY FRIEND'S HOUSE AND YOU WON'T TAKE ME AND WON'T ALLOW ME TO WALK, IT MEANS YOU HATE ME." "No, it means I care about you and don't want--" "Give me ONE GOOD REASON I can't go." "We've just spent the past 20 min. and you don't like my answer." "See, you hate me and I hate you and the only thing I love and worth living for is N." "I do not hate you." "If you don't give me the cord, I'm going to kill myself!" "How would you go about doing that?" "We've got knives downstairs." "I can take you to XYZ psychiatric hospital where you can get help right now." "SEE! THAT'S PROOF THAT YOU HATE ME! FINE, TAKE ME THERE. JUST SEE WHAT HAPPENS. I DARE you!" "You're trying to emotionally blackmail me. Get out of my room." "No. Shut the door on me!" I turn my back and walk toward the bed. He goes to his room briefly. I run to lock the bedroom door, grab the bedspread, pillows, cell ph and magazine, and lock myself in the bathroom, knowing it's going to be a long night. I call Soc Svcs to ask about respite or Residential Treatment Center (RTC). I've gone this route before and didn't qualify. After 3 phone calls and two transfers, I find what I think is the correct # and leave an explicit, specific msg. I call a local teen psychiatric hospital. "We're not a psychiatric hospital. We have 17 doctors and we're very big so everyone thinks we're an overnight facility. You can call R hospital mental health svcs, or H mental Health svcs. We really need svcs here. There isn't much around. We're a private group. My mother is mentally ill and I know how hard it is to get svsc. I call and call and only get support groups but no actual svcs." Finally, therapist calls back, with-some good advice. "You're doing the right thing. Give him time to cool off, about an hr. I like the idea of the magazine. And that *is* emotional blackmail. Do NOT give in. It's going to be a tough night and call the sheriff if you have to. But he has to remain reality based and cannot think that he can behave like that and get his way." We've got an appointment tomorrow (Thurs) at 1:30. difficult child knocks on the bathroom door. I knew the bedroom lock was weak but it offered another layer of safety and potential haven. "I know you're on the phone. You promised me the cord!" I come out. He is lying on my bed, playing with-one of the cats. "difficult child, I spoke to Dr. R. We have an appointment tomorrow at 1:30." "NO. I don't want to leave school and N. Besides, I have tutoring after school." "I'll drive you back for that. This is important and you. Will. Go." "NO. If you don't give me the cord, I'll blow up even worse." "Don't threaten me." "I will. It's your fault. You LIED! You promised me the cord!" "I did promise you. I acknowledge that. However, you became violent and aggressive and now you cannot have the cord." "I'm going to blow up!!!!" I get up off the bed and walk past him. I know he is ready to blow, but I also know that he is very hungry, and he does not want to go to Dr. R. I keep walking, while he mildly shoulder checks me, and I go downstairs and make porkchops, chicken flavored rice, and mixed vegetables, like this is totally normal behavior ... rolling the porkchops in beaten eggs, then coating them in gluten free flour, salt and pepper while difficult child screams his head off at me. He finally leaves the room. I put the food on and go up to my ofc. After 45 min, he comes to find me because the timer has gone off. I serve him. He says he's going to his room. After a moment of discussion, "I don't want to eat dinner with you!" (Oh, yeah, that's right, you hate me.) I decide to let him eat in his room. "Thank you for the dinner," he says politely.