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General Parenting
Hour in the bathroom with-a blanket, pillows, magazine and cell ph, therapist on speed dial
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 531690" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I flat out adore your therapist. Wiz was bigger than I was from about age 12 and much stronger from about age 9. NO ONE ever flat out told him that this had to stop except family and cops and the first psychiatric hospital. Most people at the psychiatric hospital wouldn't say it and wanted to focus on 'feelings' but one of the supervising nurses and the therapist and a couple of the male interns just flat out said, "you won't be able to live with your family if you don't stop hurting people." </p><p></p><p>After the psychiatric hospital, NO ONE would say anything close to that. They all wanted to focus on why he got angry and what the signs were so that the rest of us could 'destress' his environment so he would not 'need' to rage. I had 2 younger children at home and I was sickened by the attitude that the rest of us should do anything Wiz wanted so he would not rage. HOW would that help him live in the real world? He is perfectly capable of holding a job, of going to college, of having a career. he is incredibly intelligent. But until he got it through his head that he was NOT the only important person and that everyone did NOT have to do what he wanted to just keep him calm, then his chances of a life out of prison or a grave were nil.</p><p></p><p>I wish more people in the therapist/psychiatrist and related fields had the realistic view that your therapist has. Because he is right, when someone your difficult child's size and weight and age has a tantrum or rage, the most RATIONAL consequence is calling the police and going to juvie. If that rage was expressed at ANYONE but the family that has been conditioned to think they cannot do much about this, 911 would be called about 1 second after the first threat was made. Sadly, we the family are taught that we 'cannot' call the cops by cops that can't/won't enforce the laws on our kids because it is a 'family problem' and even more by psychiatrists and tdocs who keep telling us it is our fault or our other kids' fault and that our difficult children need more medications and more therapy and not punishment. So at age 18, they are totally in the mindset that NO ONE can stop them or give them any punishment and then in the real world they end up in huge trouble eventually. </p><p></p><p>Your therapist is great, in my opinion and I like that he was realistic and up front with difficult child about the natural and logical consequences of his actions.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 531690, member: 1233"] I flat out adore your therapist. Wiz was bigger than I was from about age 12 and much stronger from about age 9. NO ONE ever flat out told him that this had to stop except family and cops and the first psychiatric hospital. Most people at the psychiatric hospital wouldn't say it and wanted to focus on 'feelings' but one of the supervising nurses and the therapist and a couple of the male interns just flat out said, "you won't be able to live with your family if you don't stop hurting people." After the psychiatric hospital, NO ONE would say anything close to that. They all wanted to focus on why he got angry and what the signs were so that the rest of us could 'destress' his environment so he would not 'need' to rage. I had 2 younger children at home and I was sickened by the attitude that the rest of us should do anything Wiz wanted so he would not rage. HOW would that help him live in the real world? He is perfectly capable of holding a job, of going to college, of having a career. he is incredibly intelligent. But until he got it through his head that he was NOT the only important person and that everyone did NOT have to do what he wanted to just keep him calm, then his chances of a life out of prison or a grave were nil. I wish more people in the therapist/psychiatrist and related fields had the realistic view that your therapist has. Because he is right, when someone your difficult child's size and weight and age has a tantrum or rage, the most RATIONAL consequence is calling the police and going to juvie. If that rage was expressed at ANYONE but the family that has been conditioned to think they cannot do much about this, 911 would be called about 1 second after the first threat was made. Sadly, we the family are taught that we 'cannot' call the cops by cops that can't/won't enforce the laws on our kids because it is a 'family problem' and even more by psychiatrists and tdocs who keep telling us it is our fault or our other kids' fault and that our difficult children need more medications and more therapy and not punishment. So at age 18, they are totally in the mindset that NO ONE can stop them or give them any punishment and then in the real world they end up in huge trouble eventually. Your therapist is great, in my opinion and I like that he was realistic and up front with difficult child about the natural and logical consequences of his actions. [/QUOTE]
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Hour in the bathroom with-a blanket, pillows, magazine and cell ph, therapist on speed dial
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