Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
How bad can it get??
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 270769" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>OKAY - NEWBIE -DO NOT EVER ASK.....the dread question - </p><p> </p><p>HOW BAD CAN IT GET. lol </p><p> </p><p>Right now? It's bad. It's very bad. The police are sitting back and going - "well you're the parents." and difficult child's dad is sitting back and going "Well you ARE a STAY AT HOME Mom." (like whatever) ugh. And from what i read in your post - you are trying to make this kid be responsible for his actions but are pregnant and standing basically alone. TOugh spot to be in. </p><p> </p><p>I have been where you are now so I'll be blunt. HE NEEDS TO GO. Period. And when he goes? He needs to STAY out of the house. He's already acting like he's grown - so let him go be that way under someone elses roof. Seriously. </p><p> </p><p>Call your local family court clerk of courts and ask her/him what is involved with filing a petition of incorrigibility in your county. You should be able to provide school reports, police reports, and don't just ramble and use the clerk to vent - have proof. This will get your family in front of a judge who can sentence him to Residential Treatment Center (RTC), bootcamp, rehab. IT's not as easy as it sounds, but it's a goal towards getting him some help. </p><p> </p><p>I think it's nothing short of amazing that the police when called for assault are wishy about the situation - yet let YOU put a 17 year old out of the house and they'll threaten to jail you if you don't take the abusive child back in. Our courts and laws are really outdated. AND your local police dept. probably does NOT have the specialized training for mentally ill people and how to deescalate the situation. You can call the sheriff or police chief and ask to speak with him directly regarding what did or didn't happen when you called his officers to your house. Let him know you need help - maybe the police will "keep an eye" on him. Know what I mean?? </p><p> </p><p>At this point? I'd be sure to check all the windows/locks/doors and even get the locks changed. Make sure when you are gone - he's not sneaking in to do some vindictive thefting for survival. Also right NOW - sit down with your husband and tell him openly what you need him to do to help. He took you ? He got your son too. Package deal. (I'm guessing your now husband isn't difficult child's biodad?) sorry if got that wrong. But you said somehwere that the dad is not involved. If it's your husand now? WOW - you need to get yourself in counseling. It also wouldn't hurt for the whole family to be in it....because yes, there is fall out from difficult child to other kids. </p><p> </p><p>I think my thoughts as my difficult child son gets older went from - What can I do to help him - to What can I do for myself that shows him - I'm at my limit and set an example of tolerance. </p><p> </p><p>If you think you 'may' take your son back? I would sit with my husband and get a plan/rules/consequences together and then when that was nailed out - hack out a plan B. Keep both for viewing for difficult child if you let him return.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 270769, member: 4964"] OKAY - NEWBIE -DO NOT EVER ASK.....the dread question - HOW BAD CAN IT GET. lol Right now? It's bad. It's very bad. The police are sitting back and going - "well you're the parents." and difficult child's dad is sitting back and going "Well you ARE a STAY AT HOME Mom." (like whatever) ugh. And from what i read in your post - you are trying to make this kid be responsible for his actions but are pregnant and standing basically alone. TOugh spot to be in. I have been where you are now so I'll be blunt. HE NEEDS TO GO. Period. And when he goes? He needs to STAY out of the house. He's already acting like he's grown - so let him go be that way under someone elses roof. Seriously. Call your local family court clerk of courts and ask her/him what is involved with filing a petition of incorrigibility in your county. You should be able to provide school reports, police reports, and don't just ramble and use the clerk to vent - have proof. This will get your family in front of a judge who can sentence him to Residential Treatment Center (RTC), bootcamp, rehab. IT's not as easy as it sounds, but it's a goal towards getting him some help. I think it's nothing short of amazing that the police when called for assault are wishy about the situation - yet let YOU put a 17 year old out of the house and they'll threaten to jail you if you don't take the abusive child back in. Our courts and laws are really outdated. AND your local police dept. probably does NOT have the specialized training for mentally ill people and how to deescalate the situation. You can call the sheriff or police chief and ask to speak with him directly regarding what did or didn't happen when you called his officers to your house. Let him know you need help - maybe the police will "keep an eye" on him. Know what I mean?? At this point? I'd be sure to check all the windows/locks/doors and even get the locks changed. Make sure when you are gone - he's not sneaking in to do some vindictive thefting for survival. Also right NOW - sit down with your husband and tell him openly what you need him to do to help. He took you ? He got your son too. Package deal. (I'm guessing your now husband isn't difficult child's biodad?) sorry if got that wrong. But you said somehwere that the dad is not involved. If it's your husand now? WOW - you need to get yourself in counseling. It also wouldn't hurt for the whole family to be in it....because yes, there is fall out from difficult child to other kids. I think my thoughts as my difficult child son gets older went from - What can I do to help him - to What can I do for myself that shows him - I'm at my limit and set an example of tolerance. If you think you 'may' take your son back? I would sit with my husband and get a plan/rules/consequences together and then when that was nailed out - hack out a plan B. Keep both for viewing for difficult child if you let him return. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
How bad can it get??
Top