Fran
Former desparate mom
I know the feeling of being burnt out at trying to figure out what works, what doesn't and how to help difficult child. We work harder at making their lives work than they do. The knowledge that they are not equipped with the same abilities as average makes us really try to help them get through the bumps.
I just want to jump up and down and scream "just do it". I hear ya' RM.
We came to the conclusion that we have poured a great deal of effort,research and money into difficult child. It probably was the right thing to do but now our approach is much more selective. We will not allow ourself to be relegated to eating catfood in our old age because we want to try one more expensive program that difficult child isn't vested in.
We won't cut him off from all assistance(I won't let him go hungry or homeless unless that is his choice) but we are really working on "do to get" and "look at yourself as you really are and do something about what you don't like".
If difficult child wants to give up then does he want you and husband to give up too? Does difficult child want you to stop trying to help him? My difficult child always says No. If he gives up then he should know that you will give up making the effort. You will love him and support good choices but you can't work harder at his success than he does. You can't give up everytime it's hard. It's a tough lesson for easy child's and it's 3 times as hard with difficult children.
Hugs.
I just want to jump up and down and scream "just do it". I hear ya' RM.
We came to the conclusion that we have poured a great deal of effort,research and money into difficult child. It probably was the right thing to do but now our approach is much more selective. We will not allow ourself to be relegated to eating catfood in our old age because we want to try one more expensive program that difficult child isn't vested in.
We won't cut him off from all assistance(I won't let him go hungry or homeless unless that is his choice) but we are really working on "do to get" and "look at yourself as you really are and do something about what you don't like".
If difficult child wants to give up then does he want you and husband to give up too? Does difficult child want you to stop trying to help him? My difficult child always says No. If he gives up then he should know that you will give up making the effort. You will love him and support good choices but you can't work harder at his success than he does. You can't give up everytime it's hard. It's a tough lesson for easy child's and it's 3 times as hard with difficult children.
Hugs.
