pinevalley
Member
My difficult child has been in rehab for the past 30 days because of marijuana abuse, and he is now doing well. He will be discharged in 3 days, and he will come home to live with husband and I. My husband and I have written a list of rules and consequences that difficult child must follow when he returns to our home to live. We are having a problem with difficult child's ex-girlfriend now. My son became involved with a girl who goes to the same school, so he will see her in school every day. However husband and I are insisting that difficult child must NOT have any contact with this girl when he returns home, except when they are in school.
This girl's mother went to court in the fall and evicted her from their home, so now the girl is officially homeless. She has been sleeping at homeless shelters every night, and then our school district pays for a cab to take her to school in the mornings. She has no contact with her mother, and she has no other family in the area. Last fall my difficult child wanted to rescue this girl, because he kept telling me that he was saving her life. He became involved with this girl, and then she would not stay at the homeless shelters, because she wanted to stay with difficult child every night. She stayed at our home for a few nights, but difficult child insisted that he had to sleep in the same room with her, and that was not happening in our house. After that episode I told the girl that she could not stay at our house anymore, since I was not going to allow my son to sleep with her in our home. She then started sleeping in the foyer of an apartment building near our house, and difficult child was sneaking out of our house late at night to be with her. He even got arrested trying to help this girl. He went to a store and stole a small space heater so they could both stay warm in the foyer of the building, and he was arrested for shoplifting. Now difficult child has to go the court soon, and he would not have shoplifted if he wasn't mixed up with this girl. In the fall difficult child and the girl were both smoking a lot of weed. She told me that she doesn't smoke at all now (which I don't believe), and that she and difficult child can stay clean together.
My husband and I do not want our son to have any contact with this girl when he gets out of rehab. difficult child has agreed to stop seeing her, but I think he is just saying this to get out of rehab. I am sure that this girl will start calling and texting him when he comes home, and pleading with him to help her. difficult child has to take care of himself and his recovery, and he can not be responsible for this girl. I am afraid that if we forbid difficult child to see this girl we will make him want to see her even more just to defy us. I can't trust that difficult child will stay away from this girl, and I don't think that these two have a healthy relationship. Should my husband and I forbid our difficult child from ever seeing this girl again? How can we keep him from getting mixed up with her, when she desperately needs help all the time? Thanks for any suggestions....
This girl's mother went to court in the fall and evicted her from their home, so now the girl is officially homeless. She has been sleeping at homeless shelters every night, and then our school district pays for a cab to take her to school in the mornings. She has no contact with her mother, and she has no other family in the area. Last fall my difficult child wanted to rescue this girl, because he kept telling me that he was saving her life. He became involved with this girl, and then she would not stay at the homeless shelters, because she wanted to stay with difficult child every night. She stayed at our home for a few nights, but difficult child insisted that he had to sleep in the same room with her, and that was not happening in our house. After that episode I told the girl that she could not stay at our house anymore, since I was not going to allow my son to sleep with her in our home. She then started sleeping in the foyer of an apartment building near our house, and difficult child was sneaking out of our house late at night to be with her. He even got arrested trying to help this girl. He went to a store and stole a small space heater so they could both stay warm in the foyer of the building, and he was arrested for shoplifting. Now difficult child has to go the court soon, and he would not have shoplifted if he wasn't mixed up with this girl. In the fall difficult child and the girl were both smoking a lot of weed. She told me that she doesn't smoke at all now (which I don't believe), and that she and difficult child can stay clean together.
My husband and I do not want our son to have any contact with this girl when he gets out of rehab. difficult child has agreed to stop seeing her, but I think he is just saying this to get out of rehab. I am sure that this girl will start calling and texting him when he comes home, and pleading with him to help her. difficult child has to take care of himself and his recovery, and he can not be responsible for this girl. I am afraid that if we forbid difficult child to see this girl we will make him want to see her even more just to defy us. I can't trust that difficult child will stay away from this girl, and I don't think that these two have a healthy relationship. Should my husband and I forbid our difficult child from ever seeing this girl again? How can we keep him from getting mixed up with her, when she desperately needs help all the time? Thanks for any suggestions....