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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 391862" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Talk to both of them if you need to, tell them that from now on, whether they like it or not, you are instituting mother and son time. They can use this to bring up grievances, or they can use it to ask you to do something special with them. But the purpose is to ensure the communication channels between you are kept open. Book a time in your weekly schedule.</p><p></p><p>For me, the weekly time is any time when difficult child 3 & I are in the car together, going somewhere. Just him and me. I let him drive the conversation a lot of the time, because it is good practice for him. But sometimes I need to step in and raise a topic. Or we might have the radio on, and a news story comes up so we talk about it. I ask his opinion, I value it, we discuss various viewpoints so he understands where his opinion fits with everyone else's.</p><p></p><p>Maybe you might need to institute the 1:1 time with the two of them together, to begin with. As they are twins, it could be where you need to begin. If this means you have to ask them to let you join in their games, then do it. Find a game you can stand and ask them to teach you to play it. Make the time. You might even luck out - after you spend the time playing, you may need their help to catch up on chores and they may be more willing to help you.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 391862, member: 1991"] Talk to both of them if you need to, tell them that from now on, whether they like it or not, you are instituting mother and son time. They can use this to bring up grievances, or they can use it to ask you to do something special with them. But the purpose is to ensure the communication channels between you are kept open. Book a time in your weekly schedule. For me, the weekly time is any time when difficult child 3 & I are in the car together, going somewhere. Just him and me. I let him drive the conversation a lot of the time, because it is good practice for him. But sometimes I need to step in and raise a topic. Or we might have the radio on, and a news story comes up so we talk about it. I ask his opinion, I value it, we discuss various viewpoints so he understands where his opinion fits with everyone else's. Maybe you might need to institute the 1:1 time with the two of them together, to begin with. As they are twins, it could be where you need to begin. If this means you have to ask them to let you join in their games, then do it. Find a game you can stand and ask them to teach you to play it. Make the time. You might even luck out - after you spend the time playing, you may need their help to catch up on chores and they may be more willing to help you. Marg [/QUOTE]
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