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General Parenting
How Do I Help if I'm the problem?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 258301" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>When my difficult child was in 6th grade he ended up in a psychiatric hospital for 4 months. One of the big things they worked on was not blaming others or justifying behaviors. Once he came home we did not tolerate that either. It is something to think about and do some research on. Look into definitions of justifying and blaming and how to stop it.</p><p></p><p>You have to stay very calm and NOT take their bait. If you argue you lose. period. because they want the drama teh argument creates. But if you can change how you react, and learn to identify justifying and blaming behaviors and stop them, things can really change.</p><p></p><p>It is VERY hard to do though.</p><p></p><p>You might first check into the Love and Logic parenting books (<a href="http://www.loveandlogic.com" target="_blank">www.loveandlogic.com</a>) , They stress natural consequences and a loving relationship. I highly recommend them.</p><p></p><p>Your parenting style may not match up with your son, and you may want to make changes, but it would be unlikely that you would be to "blame" for your child's behavior. difficult child has a choice to behave properly or not.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 258301, member: 1233"] When my difficult child was in 6th grade he ended up in a psychiatric hospital for 4 months. One of the big things they worked on was not blaming others or justifying behaviors. Once he came home we did not tolerate that either. It is something to think about and do some research on. Look into definitions of justifying and blaming and how to stop it. You have to stay very calm and NOT take their bait. If you argue you lose. period. because they want the drama teh argument creates. But if you can change how you react, and learn to identify justifying and blaming behaviors and stop them, things can really change. It is VERY hard to do though. You might first check into the Love and Logic parenting books ([url]www.loveandlogic.com[/url]) , They stress natural consequences and a loving relationship. I highly recommend them. Your parenting style may not match up with your son, and you may want to make changes, but it would be unlikely that you would be to "blame" for your child's behavior. difficult child has a choice to behave properly or not. [/QUOTE]
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