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How do I let these things happen?
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 172812"><p>Thank you all for the wonderful advice! </p><p></p><p>Fortunately, easy child told me today that another friend of his is having another party tomorrow night and I don't know (as he doesn't know - you know, teenagers and their plans <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite11" alt=":rolleyes:" title="Roll Eyes :rolleyes:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":rolleyes:" />) when he's going. So I called girlfriend's mom and told her that and told her we weren't having a party because it's basically been a party since a week ago Sunday. I also told her that my mom is coming up around 3pm and she's more than welcome to stop by, but that it's going to be very informal. This way she's included, but I'm not doing anything more than I planned.</p><p></p><p>When I called her, she was in Kohl's shopping for jammies (I had told her in the past that I have a thing for jammies and shoes) and she told me that she wished that I was there so I could help her pick them out. She told me she's going to have to go back with me so we can shop for jammies together. And she told me again that she loves me.</p><p></p><p>She is very lonely. Her heart is in the right place with me. I just don't get close to people easily at all. If you force it down my throat, I'm going to shut down faster than you can blink.</p><p></p><p>1 Day at a Time - you nailed it when you said she is terrified of being left alone. She is always telling her daughter (easy child's girlfriend) that she is going to just go away and leave her and forget about her. girlfriend is not the oldest. She's the 4th of 5 children - 4 living. She also seems to be very jealous of her daughter (girlfriend) having a social life. </p><p></p><p>BBK - You're right about easy child. I told him last week that he was taking advantage of me. As of today, we have put $144 worth of gas in the car since June 29th. That's only <strong>9 days</strong>. My mom did take the $100 she was going to spend on a gift card for easy child and put it in my account for gas money for easy child. But, this has got to stop. It's ridiculous. And you're right, his friends need to step up more. They are good about helping when I need help, but having extra kids in the house for a prolonged period of time is wearing. It's wearing on difficult child which means it's wearing on me. And it's wearing on Jewel. She's such an anxious thing, anyway, and it's getting to be too much for her. </p><p></p><p>And then difficult child has a make up guitar lesson this week. easy child wanted me to schedule it for Wednesday evening even though it meant difficult child would have to cut HER plans short because he doesn't want me to have the car for the lesson on Friday as he'll be at work then. He doesn't want me to drop him and pick him up at work. He's looney tunes about driving, in case you can't tell. Too bad. Scheduled it for Friday.</p><p></p><p>And just now, easy child and difficult child have been bickering and fighting (even the cats went into the garage to hide) - difficult child in a mood - over making milkshakes and now easy child just broke the blender by not doing as he was told and using too much ice cream and then switching the speeds around quickly. The <em>new</em> blender.</p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/Graemlins/919Mad.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":919Mad:" title="Mad :919Mad:" data-shortname=":919Mad:" /></p><p></p><p>As for the hugging, my mom is a hugger. She hugs everyone. I usually don't make much of an issue out of it because it's a gesture that comes from a good place and I realize that it's my issue. But, I can always tell when someone is about to hug me and I'm always just standing there pre-hug wondering what to do and how to handle it. Then I always hug back, but I keep my body further back and it's just uncomfortable.</p><p></p><p>My personal space comfort zone is actually more than an arm's length away. So, yeah, hugging is awkward. LOL</p><p></p><p>Thanks again. You all give really great advice.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 172812"] Thank you all for the wonderful advice! Fortunately, easy child told me today that another friend of his is having another party tomorrow night and I don't know (as he doesn't know - you know, teenagers and their plans :rolleye:) when he's going. So I called girlfriend's mom and told her that and told her we weren't having a party because it's basically been a party since a week ago Sunday. I also told her that my mom is coming up around 3pm and she's more than welcome to stop by, but that it's going to be very informal. This way she's included, but I'm not doing anything more than I planned. When I called her, she was in Kohl's shopping for jammies (I had told her in the past that I have a thing for jammies and shoes) and she told me that she wished that I was there so I could help her pick them out. She told me she's going to have to go back with me so we can shop for jammies together. And she told me again that she loves me. She is very lonely. Her heart is in the right place with me. I just don't get close to people easily at all. If you force it down my throat, I'm going to shut down faster than you can blink. 1 Day at a Time - you nailed it when you said she is terrified of being left alone. She is always telling her daughter (easy child's girlfriend) that she is going to just go away and leave her and forget about her. girlfriend is not the oldest. She's the 4th of 5 children - 4 living. She also seems to be very jealous of her daughter (girlfriend) having a social life. BBK - You're right about easy child. I told him last week that he was taking advantage of me. As of today, we have put $144 worth of gas in the car since June 29th. That's only [B]9 days[/B]. My mom did take the $100 she was going to spend on a gift card for easy child and put it in my account for gas money for easy child. But, this has got to stop. It's ridiculous. And you're right, his friends need to step up more. They are good about helping when I need help, but having extra kids in the house for a prolonged period of time is wearing. It's wearing on difficult child which means it's wearing on me. And it's wearing on Jewel. She's such an anxious thing, anyway, and it's getting to be too much for her. And then difficult child has a make up guitar lesson this week. easy child wanted me to schedule it for Wednesday evening even though it meant difficult child would have to cut HER plans short because he doesn't want me to have the car for the lesson on Friday as he'll be at work then. He doesn't want me to drop him and pick him up at work. He's looney tunes about driving, in case you can't tell. Too bad. Scheduled it for Friday. And just now, easy child and difficult child have been bickering and fighting (even the cats went into the garage to hide) - difficult child in a mood - over making milkshakes and now easy child just broke the blender by not doing as he was told and using too much ice cream and then switching the speeds around quickly. The [I]new[/I] blender. :tearinghair: As for the hugging, my mom is a hugger. She hugs everyone. I usually don't make much of an issue out of it because it's a gesture that comes from a good place and I realize that it's my issue. But, I can always tell when someone is about to hug me and I'm always just standing there pre-hug wondering what to do and how to handle it. Then I always hug back, but I keep my body further back and it's just uncomfortable. My personal space comfort zone is actually more than an arm's length away. So, yeah, hugging is awkward. LOL Thanks again. You all give really great advice. [/QUOTE]
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