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How do U help a difficult child with- fixations?
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<blockquote data-quote="SRL" data-source="post: 250318" data-attributes="member: 701"><p>I agree about obsessions and coping. in my opinion, children with AS are accustomed to living life with a certain level of obsessions. It's almost has the same effect as a medication: too much or none/too little and they are out of sync. </p><p> </p><p>I think that this gets better with age, especially if they are tuning into their peers at all who aren't losing it at the drop of a hat. Role playing is one good idea as are social stories. Stopping and putting the options down in writing can help some kids as well. If he's getting social speech in school they can write in goals for working on coping with disappointment. </p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p>To me this is the key. What you want to shoot for is that your difficult child comes to trust you that you will take his concerns seriously so that he doesn't have to melt down or become overly anxious about it. We had to deal with this in the area of obsessing about gifts and I would drill it (into all the kids really): if you get something you already have or don't like, just say thank you and then quietly whisper it to mom and mom will take care of it. In the early years that meant mom would arrange for an exchange or a gift swap. I was a little worried at the time that I'd be still swapping out gifts when my kid got married, <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> but that arrangement soothed the meltdowns and anxiety enough to allow room for growing into more appropriate responses down the road.</p><p> </p><p>If a lot of issues are happening at school, a home-school log can help. Once a child learns to trust that the communication will bring about addressing and resolvign the problem, instead of having to deal with a problem all weekend you can write it down in the notebook on Friday after school.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SRL, post: 250318, member: 701"] I agree about obsessions and coping. in my opinion, children with AS are accustomed to living life with a certain level of obsessions. It's almost has the same effect as a medication: too much or none/too little and they are out of sync. I think that this gets better with age, especially if they are tuning into their peers at all who aren't losing it at the drop of a hat. Role playing is one good idea as are social stories. Stopping and putting the options down in writing can help some kids as well. If he's getting social speech in school they can write in goals for working on coping with disappointment. To me this is the key. What you want to shoot for is that your difficult child comes to trust you that you will take his concerns seriously so that he doesn't have to melt down or become overly anxious about it. We had to deal with this in the area of obsessing about gifts and I would drill it (into all the kids really): if you get something you already have or don't like, just say thank you and then quietly whisper it to mom and mom will take care of it. In the early years that meant mom would arrange for an exchange or a gift swap. I was a little worried at the time that I'd be still swapping out gifts when my kid got married, :winking: but that arrangement soothed the meltdowns and anxiety enough to allow room for growing into more appropriate responses down the road. If a lot of issues are happening at school, a home-school log can help. Once a child learns to trust that the communication will bring about addressing and resolvign the problem, instead of having to deal with a problem all weekend you can write it down in the notebook on Friday after school. [/QUOTE]
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