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General Parenting
How do you calm down?
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<blockquote data-quote="howlongto18" data-source="post: 318767" data-attributes="member: 3129"><p>Thanks everyone. I am familiar with the Holland thing... it's a favorite among adoption groups for people trying to come to terms with not having bio kids. The thing is I'm not sure what I'm coming to terms with. I'm stubborn and I don't want to settle for less than we can have. I feel like it's my job to fight for this kid at least until he's an adult and likely to my dying breath. I don't want to decide now that he's seven that he's never going to really live and experience depth and joy. I accept he's different. I accept that things are harder for us and always will be, but I don't accept defeat. If he gets to adulthood and destroys his life and chooses to pursue a terrible path, I think I can come to terms with that then, but while I'm responsible for him I don't think I can.</p><p></p><p>He's doing better right now. We're watching him closely. I'm avoiding triggers and we're being careful with his diet. We have the doctor on speed dial and I'm trying to distract myself with a sewing project.</p><p></p><p>Therapy might be a good idea for us. I can see from this week that I need strategies in place that are practiced and familiar. We also need to figure out how to shelter my three year old. He's picking up on Carlos' bad behavior (not what I need!) and yesterday threatened to "punch your head off." That's a direct quote from Carlos. I'm not worried he will mimic the violence or anything like that, because he does respond to traditional parenting, it's just that I don't want to deal with that **** on top of what we already have on our plate. Maybe I'll have my husband do Carlos duty tonight so I can take my little one out for some one on one.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="howlongto18, post: 318767, member: 3129"] Thanks everyone. I am familiar with the Holland thing... it's a favorite among adoption groups for people trying to come to terms with not having bio kids. The thing is I'm not sure what I'm coming to terms with. I'm stubborn and I don't want to settle for less than we can have. I feel like it's my job to fight for this kid at least until he's an adult and likely to my dying breath. I don't want to decide now that he's seven that he's never going to really live and experience depth and joy. I accept he's different. I accept that things are harder for us and always will be, but I don't accept defeat. If he gets to adulthood and destroys his life and chooses to pursue a terrible path, I think I can come to terms with that then, but while I'm responsible for him I don't think I can. He's doing better right now. We're watching him closely. I'm avoiding triggers and we're being careful with his diet. We have the doctor on speed dial and I'm trying to distract myself with a sewing project. Therapy might be a good idea for us. I can see from this week that I need strategies in place that are practiced and familiar. We also need to figure out how to shelter my three year old. He's picking up on Carlos' bad behavior (not what I need!) and yesterday threatened to "punch your head off." That's a direct quote from Carlos. I'm not worried he will mimic the violence or anything like that, because he does respond to traditional parenting, it's just that I don't want to deal with that **** on top of what we already have on our plate. Maybe I'll have my husband do Carlos duty tonight so I can take my little one out for some one on one. [/QUOTE]
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