Specifically, when your difficult child explodes on one of HIS friends, who happens to be the "typical" son or daughter of one of your friends?
Prior to understanding that my swift, confrontational discipline style was actually making things worse, I would've immediately removed my son from the group, told him firmly that X was not allowed because of Y, and insisted that he go apologize to his friend. Starting around 6 or 7 months ago, My difficult child started saying "no" to me when I told him to apologize. -I would give him the choice of apologizing or sitting in time out... which worked for a little while, but more and more, he would choose time out. Now he'll choose neither. In fact, as soon as a situation erupts and I stand up, I can tell by the look in his eyes that he's not going to cooperate if I attempt to make amends or discipline him in any way.
Since I'm still in the early stages of learning to navigate this road (psychiatric #4 appointment/interview in 2 weeks)... what can I do short of cancelling our social lives altogether? He shut his eyes and literally screamed in the face of a little girl tonight. I can clearly see all the things that led to his explosion (sometimes I'd like to scream at this little girl too), but I still feel like this behavior is unacceptable and I need to act on it as a parent.
HOW DO YOU HANDLE THESE MOMENTS??? The moments when you know your friends are just shaking their heads, waiting for you to do something... and you know that if you so much as move a muscle, you're going to make it worse.
AUGHHHHHHHHH!
Prior to understanding that my swift, confrontational discipline style was actually making things worse, I would've immediately removed my son from the group, told him firmly that X was not allowed because of Y, and insisted that he go apologize to his friend. Starting around 6 or 7 months ago, My difficult child started saying "no" to me when I told him to apologize. -I would give him the choice of apologizing or sitting in time out... which worked for a little while, but more and more, he would choose time out. Now he'll choose neither. In fact, as soon as a situation erupts and I stand up, I can tell by the look in his eyes that he's not going to cooperate if I attempt to make amends or discipline him in any way.
Since I'm still in the early stages of learning to navigate this road (psychiatric #4 appointment/interview in 2 weeks)... what can I do short of cancelling our social lives altogether? He shut his eyes and literally screamed in the face of a little girl tonight. I can clearly see all the things that led to his explosion (sometimes I'd like to scream at this little girl too), but I still feel like this behavior is unacceptable and I need to act on it as a parent.
HOW DO YOU HANDLE THESE MOMENTS??? The moments when you know your friends are just shaking their heads, waiting for you to do something... and you know that if you so much as move a muscle, you're going to make it worse.
AUGHHHHHHHHH!