How do you know when it is time to make him move out???

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by princess, Aug 17, 2012.

  1. princess

    princess New Member

    I have posted here before 19 year son smokes pot daily has done fake pot and I am not sure what else. We have helped him get out of trouble before. He just quit his part time grocery store job just walked out has part time job at the college and is returning to school next week. He is a good student however hangs out with all these low life friends. He applied at a friend's restaurant to do short order cooking and she hired him because I talked to her....well he has been blowing her off and not showing up because one of the "friends" was away and came home so I think he has been partying with him and others...he also has to pay my husband money for his cell and fines we paid for has been missing payments. Tonight my husband said we are throwing him out...I am not sure what to do I know he likes school but these so called friends are dragging him down I see him slipping away -he was such a great kid until senior year in HS that is all when it had changed. I am embaressed that I got my friend to hire him..she seems ****** off now-my husband wants to take the car away stop paying for school and make him move out-tonight he is not coming home did send me a text-at least he does not have the car which I own and let him husband actually said he hates him-how do you know when it is time to make them leave and how do you stop worrying and detach from all this?
  2. 92025

    92025 Member

    See if your husband would agree to give him an ultimatum and then kick him out if he doesn't follow all the conditions?
  3. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Yes write up a set of conditions for him to live at home, with the clear statement of the cosnequence of moving out if he does not follow the rules...that way it is clear he has a choice and it will be clear it his actions that resulted in your decision. And you and your husband need to be on the same page to do this.

  4. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I agree with the others. Kicking him out out of the blue isn't going to register with him. He needs to learn that it's his ACTIONS that caused the eviction and like toughlovin says, it probably needs to be in black and white for him to make the connection. You could also make a list of the things he's doing that you don't like and give him a "deadline" to make other living arrangements. I guess it depends on how badly you want to try to teach him his actions have consequences or how badly you just want him out.
  5. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    TL summed it up perfectly. Just be prepared to stick to your guns when and if he breaks the agreement. Unfortunately, it will probably be when not if.

    Keep coming here for support. . . most of us have been through this and understand what you are going through.