Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
How do you stop living in fear over what could happen to your difficult child?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 495083" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>Hugs, LMS. You know that I know exactly what you're feeling. You also know deep in your heart that you can not continue on as you have done...it's not healthy for you and even worse, it is unhealthy for him.</p><p></p><p>I'm sure I sound like "the pot calling the kettle black" because we have not forced difficult child#1 out of our home. There are a few differences between your son and ours. Ours is still hoping that he will get approved for his Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) disability (no, we don't think so but the attorneys and GFGmom encourage him to believe he will get a retroactive check after his next hearing). As a result of that factor he "knows" that it is best for him not to get a job or relocate. I'm eager for that hearing to be scheduled. Once that occurs he will be out on his own..win or lose. </p><p></p><p>The biggest problem that I see for both of them is that they are losing their self identity and surely their self confidence. Living with family as peers are moving on has to erode the maturing process that all of us have to experience in order to feel like an adult. Whether the main issue is mental health, addiction, Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)'s, or general issues they have to own it and do their best. I know you have tried programs when he was younger, you've tried medications with-o compliance, you've tried almost everything. </p><p></p><p>I believe that your difficult child has to know that when he is released he has to go to a halfway house and work on his issues. He doesn't have to do that because he's not welcome in your home. He has to "bite the bullet" and voluntarily sign in to a program that requires work, following rules and learning how to live independently of parents and his own family. If I were you I would begin to compile a list of placement options for him. He has time to think in jail with-o too many interruptions. Personally I think if you take living at home off the table he "may" come to realize that the ball is in his park and it's now or never.</p><p></p><p>Basically that is what our plan is for difficult child#1. We are in a holding pattern due to the disability issue and we are thankful that he is (to the best of our knowledge) no longer using drugs. He is a drunk but he very very rarely comes home drunk. He sleeps over at someone else's house and he does not drive. Those, we know, are baby steps. on the other hand I have reached a level of detachment that of course is based on the Serenity Prayer. We can not control their choices and they are the ones who have to pay the consequences of poor ones. Truth be told I miss his company when he is not at home. BUT I'm ready to let him try his wings. I hope you can find peace with your choices too. Hugs DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 495083, member: 35"] Hugs, LMS. You know that I know exactly what you're feeling. You also know deep in your heart that you can not continue on as you have done...it's not healthy for you and even worse, it is unhealthy for him. I'm sure I sound like "the pot calling the kettle black" because we have not forced difficult child#1 out of our home. There are a few differences between your son and ours. Ours is still hoping that he will get approved for his Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) disability (no, we don't think so but the attorneys and GFGmom encourage him to believe he will get a retroactive check after his next hearing). As a result of that factor he "knows" that it is best for him not to get a job or relocate. I'm eager for that hearing to be scheduled. Once that occurs he will be out on his own..win or lose. The biggest problem that I see for both of them is that they are losing their self identity and surely their self confidence. Living with family as peers are moving on has to erode the maturing process that all of us have to experience in order to feel like an adult. Whether the main issue is mental health, addiction, Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)'s, or general issues they have to own it and do their best. I know you have tried programs when he was younger, you've tried medications with-o compliance, you've tried almost everything. I believe that your difficult child has to know that when he is released he has to go to a halfway house and work on his issues. He doesn't have to do that because he's not welcome in your home. He has to "bite the bullet" and voluntarily sign in to a program that requires work, following rules and learning how to live independently of parents and his own family. If I were you I would begin to compile a list of placement options for him. He has time to think in jail with-o too many interruptions. Personally I think if you take living at home off the table he "may" come to realize that the ball is in his park and it's now or never. Basically that is what our plan is for difficult child#1. We are in a holding pattern due to the disability issue and we are thankful that he is (to the best of our knowledge) no longer using drugs. He is a drunk but he very very rarely comes home drunk. He sleeps over at someone else's house and he does not drive. Those, we know, are baby steps. on the other hand I have reached a level of detachment that of course is based on the Serenity Prayer. We can not control their choices and they are the ones who have to pay the consequences of poor ones. Truth be told I miss his company when he is not at home. BUT I'm ready to let him try his wings. I hope you can find peace with your choices too. Hugs DDD [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
How do you stop living in fear over what could happen to your difficult child?
Top