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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 83832" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Count us in. We took his door off and he tacked up a blanket. I thought .....fine...you can't beat a blanket up. And then, and then he kicked holes in the wall and busted up the mirror on his wall instead. ARGH. So we took away his walls and put a nice grass mat on the lawn with an extension cord for a lamp, a blanket and pillow and some bug spray wipes. I told him if he was good he'd get a tent in a week or so. </p><p></p><p>He got so angry and said "Fine I'll STAY out here." I said fine and shut the door. Then I opened it and threw out a roll of toilet paper and shut the door again. </p><p></p><p>Around 1:00 AM he came in complaining of bugs. I said So sad, too bad you aren't staying in MY house and kicking holes in the walls or busting up mirrors. If you have no more self control than that you deserve to live outside where if you get mad you can kick a tree. I got him up, pushed him out and told him to watch for the ground spiders that hunt in packs and shut the door again. </p><p></p><p>The next morning he came in and said he was sorry for the holes and the mirror. That he just gets SO angry sometimes he can't control it. I asked him what would help? He said a place to go get mad in. So we hung a heavy bag for him and agreed when he was angry THAT is where he would go. </p><p></p><p>It helped for him to have something to take his anger out on and a place that NO ONE followed him to. If he said leave me alone, we did. But the conditions of the leaving him alone also came with : When you are calmed down, you will return to the house, and a family meeting will be called and strategies to difuse the anger before it happens again will be discussed. </p><p></p><p>He actually almost seemed to enjoy talking about it with us after he had blown it out. And he learned to calm himself down and what would have been a better way to handle it. There was never any judgment or "past" brought up. Just that situation and how he could improve and prepare better for the next outburst. </p><p></p><p>More and more as he grows older he just "walks fast" and talks to himself about what made him angry. THe heavy bag can't hit back, and he could imagine whatever or whomever he wanted to on it, but if you've ever hit one eventually you'll stop or break your hands. Like telling a child to punch a tree. THAT will happen once. </p><p></p><p>Hope something in this ramble helps you. </p><p></p><p>Also take a picture of that door, and keep it on file for all the property she damages. Some day when she's got a grip on her anger it may humble her. My son couldn't BELIEVE what all he had destroyed. Or how he kept his room. It was like someone else had done it he said. </p><p></p><p>"Someone else in deed." I replied.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 83832, member: 4964"] Count us in. We took his door off and he tacked up a blanket. I thought .....fine...you can't beat a blanket up. And then, and then he kicked holes in the wall and busted up the mirror on his wall instead. ARGH. So we took away his walls and put a nice grass mat on the lawn with an extension cord for a lamp, a blanket and pillow and some bug spray wipes. I told him if he was good he'd get a tent in a week or so. He got so angry and said "Fine I'll STAY out here." I said fine and shut the door. Then I opened it and threw out a roll of toilet paper and shut the door again. Around 1:00 AM he came in complaining of bugs. I said So sad, too bad you aren't staying in MY house and kicking holes in the walls or busting up mirrors. If you have no more self control than that you deserve to live outside where if you get mad you can kick a tree. I got him up, pushed him out and told him to watch for the ground spiders that hunt in packs and shut the door again. The next morning he came in and said he was sorry for the holes and the mirror. That he just gets SO angry sometimes he can't control it. I asked him what would help? He said a place to go get mad in. So we hung a heavy bag for him and agreed when he was angry THAT is where he would go. It helped for him to have something to take his anger out on and a place that NO ONE followed him to. If he said leave me alone, we did. But the conditions of the leaving him alone also came with : When you are calmed down, you will return to the house, and a family meeting will be called and strategies to difuse the anger before it happens again will be discussed. He actually almost seemed to enjoy talking about it with us after he had blown it out. And he learned to calm himself down and what would have been a better way to handle it. There was never any judgment or "past" brought up. Just that situation and how he could improve and prepare better for the next outburst. More and more as he grows older he just "walks fast" and talks to himself about what made him angry. THe heavy bag can't hit back, and he could imagine whatever or whomever he wanted to on it, but if you've ever hit one eventually you'll stop or break your hands. Like telling a child to punch a tree. THAT will happen once. Hope something in this ramble helps you. Also take a picture of that door, and keep it on file for all the property she damages. Some day when she's got a grip on her anger it may humble her. My son couldn't BELIEVE what all he had destroyed. Or how he kept his room. It was like someone else had done it he said. "Someone else in deed." I replied. [/QUOTE]
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