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How many of you have had to rearrange your life ..
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<blockquote data-quote="hearthope" data-source="post: 44223" data-attributes="member: 2389"><p>Changes in life I have handled. That is really all life is.</p><p></p><p>I got to the point of walking away from it all, that is the kind of changes I am speaking of. Each day getting closer and closer to the edge and realizing the entire time that you really can't handle what is happening and grabbing at anything you can to stop difficult child from acting like he is.</p><p></p><p>The whole time I was saying he just has to hit rock botom and he will understand how he is ruining his life. In fact it was I that hit rock bottom and could no longer handle any aspect of my life.</p><p></p><p>I was ready to divorce my husband. I could not tolerate being in the same room with him. I could hardly keep it together at work, I was either mad or sad. If I ever had a good day, I would get some phonecall that would change it back to mad or sad. I felt almost as if I had anxiety attacks at home and work. The only place I could get and be okay somewhat was closed in my room in the bed with no noise.</p><p></p><p>My easy child is the only thing that stopped my actions. She deserved better.</p><p></p><p></p><p>When I finally got to the point, like Janet said, that I knew there was nothing else I could do ~ I found peace. I had searched for it everywhere, but it was in me all along. </p><p></p><p></p><p>I had to see that my son had been given every opportunity to change. I had to see that he was slowly killing me. I had to accept that,like you said Barbara, he was raised better and I knew it. </p><p></p><p>He is the only person on this earth that can change him. Nothing I or anyone else does or says will make a difference, it has all been tryed before and he has refused to change. </p><p></p><p>He is satisfied with his life and in his eyes is living it to the fullest, in time he will maybe remember hopes and dreams he had for the future. Hopefully he will remember his childhood and how he was raised and see what true happiness comes from.</p><p></p><p>That is all I can do. Kinda like my name HeartHope ~ I will keep hope in my heart that he will come around, but I will go own with my life...</p><p></p><p>husband deserves better than what he has gotten from me and easy child needs me now more than ever. And I am in there too. I put me on the back burner a long time ago.</p><p></p><p>I wish you all the peace that comes with acceptance, I finally accept that I am powerless against the evils that have engulfed my son.</p><p></p><p>The choices are his, not my own</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearthope, post: 44223, member: 2389"] Changes in life I have handled. That is really all life is. I got to the point of walking away from it all, that is the kind of changes I am speaking of. Each day getting closer and closer to the edge and realizing the entire time that you really can't handle what is happening and grabbing at anything you can to stop difficult child from acting like he is. The whole time I was saying he just has to hit rock botom and he will understand how he is ruining his life. In fact it was I that hit rock bottom and could no longer handle any aspect of my life. I was ready to divorce my husband. I could not tolerate being in the same room with him. I could hardly keep it together at work, I was either mad or sad. If I ever had a good day, I would get some phonecall that would change it back to mad or sad. I felt almost as if I had anxiety attacks at home and work. The only place I could get and be okay somewhat was closed in my room in the bed with no noise. My easy child is the only thing that stopped my actions. She deserved better. When I finally got to the point, like Janet said, that I knew there was nothing else I could do ~ I found peace. I had searched for it everywhere, but it was in me all along. I had to see that my son had been given every opportunity to change. I had to see that he was slowly killing me. I had to accept that,like you said Barbara, he was raised better and I knew it. He is the only person on this earth that can change him. Nothing I or anyone else does or says will make a difference, it has all been tryed before and he has refused to change. He is satisfied with his life and in his eyes is living it to the fullest, in time he will maybe remember hopes and dreams he had for the future. Hopefully he will remember his childhood and how he was raised and see what true happiness comes from. That is all I can do. Kinda like my name HeartHope ~ I will keep hope in my heart that he will come around, but I will go own with my life... husband deserves better than what he has gotten from me and easy child needs me now more than ever. And I am in there too. I put me on the back burner a long time ago. I wish you all the peace that comes with acceptance, I finally accept that I am powerless against the evils that have engulfed my son. The choices are his, not my own [/QUOTE]
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