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How much should a grandmother help with her daughters 4 children under 9???
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 376668"><p>Couple of thoughts.....</p><p></p><p>Sounds like my sister in law when her kids were young. Her husband did not do much around the house and so her parents were always stepping in and helping out and of course they didn't like him because of it. It just allowed her to keep living in a not so great marriage and have more kids. It didn't really help her figure out how to make it all work well for her.</p><p></p><p>The other question I have is are your standards for housekeeping different than hers. She might not mind a messy house even if her husband does. She somehow manages the house when you are not there, either it is just ok messier or she manages to clean it. </p><p></p><p>My mom used to come and visit for me for a month or so at a time. I always loved her visits and I loved her help with the kids... and the house, although we both goofed off on housework and played scrabble instead.</p><p></p><p>My suggestion would be to write your daughter a heart felt letter about how you love to visit and you love spending time with your grandchildren. However you don't have it in you anymore to do housework all day every day alone. Give her a list of the ways you are willing to help out and then don't visit for more than a month at a time. In that list I would include a lot of child oriented stuff rather than house work.</p><p></p><p>You definitely don't owe any housework to her. If you are visiting you should enjoy your visit and not just feel like a servant.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 376668"] Couple of thoughts..... Sounds like my sister in law when her kids were young. Her husband did not do much around the house and so her parents were always stepping in and helping out and of course they didn't like him because of it. It just allowed her to keep living in a not so great marriage and have more kids. It didn't really help her figure out how to make it all work well for her. The other question I have is are your standards for housekeeping different than hers. She might not mind a messy house even if her husband does. She somehow manages the house when you are not there, either it is just ok messier or she manages to clean it. My mom used to come and visit for me for a month or so at a time. I always loved her visits and I loved her help with the kids... and the house, although we both goofed off on housework and played scrabble instead. My suggestion would be to write your daughter a heart felt letter about how you love to visit and you love spending time with your grandchildren. However you don't have it in you anymore to do housework all day every day alone. Give her a list of the ways you are willing to help out and then don't visit for more than a month at a time. In that list I would include a lot of child oriented stuff rather than house work. You definitely don't owe any housework to her. If you are visiting you should enjoy your visit and not just feel like a servant. [/QUOTE]
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How much should a grandmother help with her daughters 4 children under 9???
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