Marguerite
Active Member
To all those of you who have misplaced your joy - now is your opportunity to fix this. Try to work out why, because joy is there waiting for you to rediscover it. Joy s not only where you find it, but sometimes you have to actively go looking for it. Even in those moments of stress just as you've got your hands around the throat of someone who has upset you, take the time to pause and admire the wonderful purples, pinks and oranges of their face as they slowly subside into unconsciousness...
Seriously, though - I had a miserable, stressful childhood. I was anxious, downtrodden, learned to stay quiet and to fix my own problems. I'm certain I was also depressed, clinically, for a number of years as I was growing up. But I still found my moments of joy when I deliberately forgot my worries for a minute or two here and there, while I found something to wonder at. I used to climb an old tree down hear the animal sheds on our small farm, and watch the sunset from this tree. Or I would cuddle one of the dogs and talk to it. Or one of the sheep. I had my own personal list of what made me happy, and I made a point of analysing and storing these memories so I can bring them out now and recall the happiness, even if (as I know) these moments were brief. But they were there and they were joyful. I remember the anticipation of a friend coming over to play one summer, so I went to the paddock and made daisy chains and bracelets for my friend. When she did not turn up - I was sad, but the moment I had been making tose daisy chains was a moment of joy that I can bring back and enjoy again.
"Enjoy" - an interesting word. A valuable word for us now, when you think about it. It is wrapping yourself in the joy of the moment. Eating a square of chocolate you didn't know was at the back of the pantry - enjoy. Feeling depressed at the prospect of having to exercise your tired mind to come up with something creative for dinner then being surprised by a partner who has brought home exactly what you would have asked for - enjoy.
Or like me, yesterday, having to make a rush trip to the shop at sunset to buy eggs to make pasta to make lasagne and get it all done ready to go into the oven in half an hour - the colour of the sea was that beautiful silvery blue, with hints of mauve from the sunset. I only had a few seconds to see it as I drove past, but I took a mental snapshot and took it out again to look at it once I had that lasagne in the oven. Knowing I was feeding kangaroo to my mother-in-law (it has traditionally been considered good for nothing but dog meat, but it is actually very nutritious) gave me secret joy while we ate, and while I listened to her telling me how much she was enjoying it. There it is again - enjoy.
I have permission to serve kangaroo lasagne again sometime...
Today is a surprising warm summer's day in the middle of winter. We only have a few of these then winter will be back on Saturday afternoon. I will walk out into the rain after my meeting on Saturday, and deliberately remember the storms I have enjoyed from the north headland of Bondi Beach. I used to go there when I was a uni student, just a kid having to live on my own and scared, depressed, confused and anxious. My favourite place then was the rock shelf below the cliff, and if a storm came up - bliss! The waves and the thunder were my own fears and distress, being washed away and soothed. It was more therapeutic than smashing an entire set of someone else's crockery.
Joy is there but we can lose ourselves, and this cuts us off from joy. So first find yourself, then make those precious seconds available and grab the joy, reach out for it, make it if you have to. But it is there waiting for you.
You not only have a right to happiness and joy, but those for whom you have buried yourself will be better cared for by you, if you have happiness and joy supporting you in your work.
Marg
Seriously, though - I had a miserable, stressful childhood. I was anxious, downtrodden, learned to stay quiet and to fix my own problems. I'm certain I was also depressed, clinically, for a number of years as I was growing up. But I still found my moments of joy when I deliberately forgot my worries for a minute or two here and there, while I found something to wonder at. I used to climb an old tree down hear the animal sheds on our small farm, and watch the sunset from this tree. Or I would cuddle one of the dogs and talk to it. Or one of the sheep. I had my own personal list of what made me happy, and I made a point of analysing and storing these memories so I can bring them out now and recall the happiness, even if (as I know) these moments were brief. But they were there and they were joyful. I remember the anticipation of a friend coming over to play one summer, so I went to the paddock and made daisy chains and bracelets for my friend. When she did not turn up - I was sad, but the moment I had been making tose daisy chains was a moment of joy that I can bring back and enjoy again.
"Enjoy" - an interesting word. A valuable word for us now, when you think about it. It is wrapping yourself in the joy of the moment. Eating a square of chocolate you didn't know was at the back of the pantry - enjoy. Feeling depressed at the prospect of having to exercise your tired mind to come up with something creative for dinner then being surprised by a partner who has brought home exactly what you would have asked for - enjoy.
Or like me, yesterday, having to make a rush trip to the shop at sunset to buy eggs to make pasta to make lasagne and get it all done ready to go into the oven in half an hour - the colour of the sea was that beautiful silvery blue, with hints of mauve from the sunset. I only had a few seconds to see it as I drove past, but I took a mental snapshot and took it out again to look at it once I had that lasagne in the oven. Knowing I was feeding kangaroo to my mother-in-law (it has traditionally been considered good for nothing but dog meat, but it is actually very nutritious) gave me secret joy while we ate, and while I listened to her telling me how much she was enjoying it. There it is again - enjoy.
I have permission to serve kangaroo lasagne again sometime...
Today is a surprising warm summer's day in the middle of winter. We only have a few of these then winter will be back on Saturday afternoon. I will walk out into the rain after my meeting on Saturday, and deliberately remember the storms I have enjoyed from the north headland of Bondi Beach. I used to go there when I was a uni student, just a kid having to live on my own and scared, depressed, confused and anxious. My favourite place then was the rock shelf below the cliff, and if a storm came up - bliss! The waves and the thunder were my own fears and distress, being washed away and soothed. It was more therapeutic than smashing an entire set of someone else's crockery.
Joy is there but we can lose ourselves, and this cuts us off from joy. So first find yourself, then make those precious seconds available and grab the joy, reach out for it, make it if you have to. But it is there waiting for you.
You not only have a right to happiness and joy, but those for whom you have buried yourself will be better cared for by you, if you have happiness and joy supporting you in your work.
Marg