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how to calm a easy child/difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Bunny" data-source="post: 398998"><p>It's a tough call because easy child clearly feels that she has a need that is not being fulfilled and you going away to fulfil the needs of your other child is probably making her feel that her needs are pushed aside and are not as important. You're been going through this with difficult child for several months and everyone else's needs have come in second to her, even your own. She may be a little frightened, too. I know that I tend to behave that way when I am nervous or anxious about something. You are going all the way across the country. She might be feeling something like, "What will happen if I need my mom while she's gone? What if I have a question that only she can answer?" </p><p> </p><p>It's not that you want her to do these things because you are the parent and she is the child, but rather because she is now an adult and you will not be there to do them, and let's face it; she's old enough to have to help around the house whether you're there or not. I would wait a few days to give her a chance to calm down before approaching her again but make it sound like you're asking her to do these things not because you won't be there to do them, but rather because she's almost an adult now and caring for things around the house are skills that she will need one day when she moves out and lives on her own. That's the only idea that I thought of.</p><p> </p><p>I hope that things smooth over a bit with easy child before you have to go. This must be so hard for you.</p><p> </p><p>Pam</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Bunny, post: 398998"] It's a tough call because easy child clearly feels that she has a need that is not being fulfilled and you going away to fulfil the needs of your other child is probably making her feel that her needs are pushed aside and are not as important. You're been going through this with difficult child for several months and everyone else's needs have come in second to her, even your own. She may be a little frightened, too. I know that I tend to behave that way when I am nervous or anxious about something. You are going all the way across the country. She might be feeling something like, "What will happen if I need my mom while she's gone? What if I have a question that only she can answer?" It's not that you want her to do these things because you are the parent and she is the child, but rather because she is now an adult and you will not be there to do them, and let's face it; she's old enough to have to help around the house whether you're there or not. I would wait a few days to give her a chance to calm down before approaching her again but make it sound like you're asking her to do these things not because you won't be there to do them, but rather because she's almost an adult now and caring for things around the house are skills that she will need one day when she moves out and lives on her own. That's the only idea that I thought of. I hope that things smooth over a bit with easy child before you have to go. This must be so hard for you. Pam [/QUOTE]
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