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How to date with a difficult child?
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<blockquote data-quote="busywend" data-source="post: 266677" data-attributes="member: 391"><p>It really depends on the age of your difficult child. Mine was 11 when I started dating my boyfriend. We had just gone through the first year of true GFGness. My boyfriend became my 'getaway guy'. On the weekends my difficult child went to her dad's I escaped to BFs house. </p><p>It took a few months to introduce (actually she had met him a few years before when we had a 6 month long relationship) her to him. Mostly she met him because he invited me to Florida for a week and I wanted difficult child to know who I was going with. She did not accompany us that trip. </p><p></p><p>My difficult child has manipulated our relationship from the start. She stresses to this day about us having sex. 6 years into the relationship and she (even at 17) is still worried about it. She tells me when he spends the night she does not sleep at all. I finally told her to get over it. I was not doing anything wrong and she need not worry about a thing. She is much to involved in my life. She thinks about me and what I do too much. </p><p></p><p>Anyway, at 17 your son may not even care if you date. I would take it slow and just be open to let him express his thoughts and feelings to you. Sometimes their feelings change what you do, sometimes they do not. </p><p></p><p>Last time difficult child told me 'if you can lay on the couch with your boyfriend I can, too.' I told her no way, not in my house. She thought that was not fair. I told her every child says 'its not fair' at some point in their life. If that is what she chooses to not be fair, so be it. Too bad. It took a long time for me to get there though. People have told me for years that she is controlling the house. I felt like I was listening to her feelings and trying to be respectful of them. But, since she has never changed even after 6 years how she feels.....what is one to do? </p><p></p><p>Just a bit of a single moms experience with dating while trying to parent a difficult child.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="busywend, post: 266677, member: 391"] It really depends on the age of your difficult child. Mine was 11 when I started dating my boyfriend. We had just gone through the first year of true GFGness. My boyfriend became my 'getaway guy'. On the weekends my difficult child went to her dad's I escaped to BFs house. It took a few months to introduce (actually she had met him a few years before when we had a 6 month long relationship) her to him. Mostly she met him because he invited me to Florida for a week and I wanted difficult child to know who I was going with. She did not accompany us that trip. My difficult child has manipulated our relationship from the start. She stresses to this day about us having sex. 6 years into the relationship and she (even at 17) is still worried about it. She tells me when he spends the night she does not sleep at all. I finally told her to get over it. I was not doing anything wrong and she need not worry about a thing. She is much to involved in my life. She thinks about me and what I do too much. Anyway, at 17 your son may not even care if you date. I would take it slow and just be open to let him express his thoughts and feelings to you. Sometimes their feelings change what you do, sometimes they do not. Last time difficult child told me 'if you can lay on the couch with your boyfriend I can, too.' I told her no way, not in my house. She thought that was not fair. I told her every child says 'its not fair' at some point in their life. If that is what she chooses to not be fair, so be it. Too bad. It took a long time for me to get there though. People have told me for years that she is controlling the house. I felt like I was listening to her feelings and trying to be respectful of them. But, since she has never changed even after 6 years how she feels.....what is one to do? Just a bit of a single moms experience with dating while trying to parent a difficult child. [/QUOTE]
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