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How to Deal...maybe
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 351149" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Did you attend to his medical needs? Did you ensure he had access to a good education? Did you feed him nutritious food? Make sure he had a bed to sleep on? In which case, you attended to his basic needs.</p><p></p><p>Did you show him you loved him? Did you give him clear and consistent upbringing? Did you guide him towards a future life with some idea of good moral code? Then you were more than just an average parent, you were a good parent.</p><p></p><p>Yes, he has jumped the gun a bit. He has a medical diagnosis which could explain some of his behaviours, but in his mind, he is an independent adult now. He also has made you feel unsafe in your own home and is continually doing damage on various fronts. I agree, you need to be made not responsible for him now, but that won't stop you being his mother, it won't stop you loving him. But it is what you have to do in this situation.</p><p></p><p>I have recently read a book about scarily similar issues, it is by Australian journalist Ann Deveson. In her case, her son developed schizophrenia and became a huge problem, despite when younger showing so much promise. The book is certainly not a "how to" manual, if anything it's a 'how not to" but it also shows how you put things in place to protect you legally, you get the protection orders or whatever, but when the kid comes home and wants a hug, you're there.</p><p></p><p>There is a link to an interview Ann did for an Australian TV biography show, it gives you a deep insight into the woman. However, I couldn't get it to open the second page.</p><p></p><p>Here is her Wikipedia entry - </p><p><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anne_Deveson" target="_blank">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anne_Deveson</a></p><p></p><p>From Wiki, the book she wrote (which I recently read) is called "Tell Me I'm Here". It's about her son Jonathon. </p><p></p><p>See if you can find the book to read. It might give you some clues on what to do as well as what not to do.</p><p></p><p>hugs</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 351149, member: 1991"] Did you attend to his medical needs? Did you ensure he had access to a good education? Did you feed him nutritious food? Make sure he had a bed to sleep on? In which case, you attended to his basic needs. Did you show him you loved him? Did you give him clear and consistent upbringing? Did you guide him towards a future life with some idea of good moral code? Then you were more than just an average parent, you were a good parent. Yes, he has jumped the gun a bit. He has a medical diagnosis which could explain some of his behaviours, but in his mind, he is an independent adult now. He also has made you feel unsafe in your own home and is continually doing damage on various fronts. I agree, you need to be made not responsible for him now, but that won't stop you being his mother, it won't stop you loving him. But it is what you have to do in this situation. I have recently read a book about scarily similar issues, it is by Australian journalist Ann Deveson. In her case, her son developed schizophrenia and became a huge problem, despite when younger showing so much promise. The book is certainly not a "how to" manual, if anything it's a 'how not to" but it also shows how you put things in place to protect you legally, you get the protection orders or whatever, but when the kid comes home and wants a hug, you're there. There is a link to an interview Ann did for an Australian TV biography show, it gives you a deep insight into the woman. However, I couldn't get it to open the second page. Here is her Wikipedia entry - [url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anne_Deveson[/url] From Wiki, the book she wrote (which I recently read) is called "Tell Me I'm Here". It's about her son Jonathon. See if you can find the book to read. It might give you some clues on what to do as well as what not to do. hugs Marg [/QUOTE]
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