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<blockquote data-quote="Mom2oddson" data-source="post: 366049" data-attributes="member: 65"><p>I can relate to the pain. difficult child-A went to live with his Grandma at 15 1/2 because he needed to get away from me. difficult child-S did the same last summer. It is very painful. We pour everything we have into our kids and then they reject us. But it's not us, it's what we represent...rules, respect, honor, doing the right thing. They would rather live with the Disneyland parent/grandparent because it's more fun. </p><p></p><p>I see my counselor every other week just so that she can remind me that I am a great Mom and that I did everything to help my kids. That it isn't me. It helps. And I have as my motto something one of the Mom's here said... "You did the best you could. If you could of done better, you would of done better." That thought brings me a lot of comfort. </p><p></p><p>And I know that some day, my kids will grow up and come back. difficult child-A sent me a text once that I've kept. "I just wanted to tell you that I know there is still a lot of stress around the house but I wanted to let you know that I love you with my whole heart and that I wouldn't pick anyone else to be my Mom". Since then, he's gone back and forth between loving me and hating me. But, once, he shared his heart and I've kept that thought foremost in my heart and mind. </p><p></p><p>difficult child-S still can't stand me. Wouldn't even acknowledge me on Mother's Day. There is nothing I can do but sit back and hope that someday she changes her mind. Doesn't change the fact that I love her dearly, but I can't change her or how she feels. And I know that with her, there is a good chance that she will not change her mind. I have to accept it for now. I grieved for a long time and still do at times. But, it's okay to grieve. We are all dealing with loss of some type. Whether it's because our kids are gone or because we don't have the "normal" milestones, we all have a loss. </p><p></p><p>Take care of you. Do whatever it is that will help you out. Volunteer at a pet shelter or a food bank or a senior center. Do something that makes you feel good. I've been making quilts for my nieces and nephews for Christmas. I've been working on projects to donate to charity auctions. And I've been working on because husband's best friend again. I don't know if it ever gets better, but eventually, you reach a point of acceptance and that isn't such a bad place.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mom2oddson, post: 366049, member: 65"] I can relate to the pain. difficult child-A went to live with his Grandma at 15 1/2 because he needed to get away from me. difficult child-S did the same last summer. It is very painful. We pour everything we have into our kids and then they reject us. But it's not us, it's what we represent...rules, respect, honor, doing the right thing. They would rather live with the Disneyland parent/grandparent because it's more fun. I see my counselor every other week just so that she can remind me that I am a great Mom and that I did everything to help my kids. That it isn't me. It helps. And I have as my motto something one of the Mom's here said... "You did the best you could. If you could of done better, you would of done better." That thought brings me a lot of comfort. And I know that some day, my kids will grow up and come back. difficult child-A sent me a text once that I've kept. "I just wanted to tell you that I know there is still a lot of stress around the house but I wanted to let you know that I love you with my whole heart and that I wouldn't pick anyone else to be my Mom". Since then, he's gone back and forth between loving me and hating me. But, once, he shared his heart and I've kept that thought foremost in my heart and mind. difficult child-S still can't stand me. Wouldn't even acknowledge me on Mother's Day. There is nothing I can do but sit back and hope that someday she changes her mind. Doesn't change the fact that I love her dearly, but I can't change her or how she feels. And I know that with her, there is a good chance that she will not change her mind. I have to accept it for now. I grieved for a long time and still do at times. But, it's okay to grieve. We are all dealing with loss of some type. Whether it's because our kids are gone or because we don't have the "normal" milestones, we all have a loss. Take care of you. Do whatever it is that will help you out. Volunteer at a pet shelter or a food bank or a senior center. Do something that makes you feel good. I've been making quilts for my nieces and nephews for Christmas. I've been working on projects to donate to charity auctions. And I've been working on because husband's best friend again. I don't know if it ever gets better, but eventually, you reach a point of acceptance and that isn't such a bad place. [/QUOTE]
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