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how to deal with other family members that enable
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<blockquote data-quote="goldenguru" data-source="post: 112600" data-attributes="member: 1545"><p>First off jmama (((hugs)))-</p><p></p><p>I'm sure no one here wanted to make you angry. This is a very supportive group of folks - It seems the advise had a common thread.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>As parents we can ALL identify with this. We know our kids best. We understand the grave consequences if they make poor choices. We all fear for our kids. None of our kids are 'mature enough'. If they were, we wouldn't be hanging around a forum like this one. Our kids have all been in over their heads.</p><p></p><p>But, here is the million dollar question you have to ask yourself. At what age do you let your son assume responsibility for his own life and realize the consequences of his own choices?</p><p></p><p>You say he's too immature at 22. What are you going to do if he's too immature at 32? How about when he's in his 40's? IF you don't allow him the freedom to make his own choices at 22 (even if you don't agree with them) you are crippling him.</p><p></p><p>I hear your fear jamama. We all do. </p><p></p><p>What his dad does for him is between him and his dad (since bio-dad doesn't seem interested in the team approach). What you are willing to do for your son is your choice as well. Ultimately, what your son decides to do with his life is up to him. It may involve drugs. It may involve dysfunction. It may even involve prison. That's why we are encouraging you to detach. Love him and pray for him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="goldenguru, post: 112600, member: 1545"] First off jmama (((hugs)))- I'm sure no one here wanted to make you angry. This is a very supportive group of folks - It seems the advise had a common thread. As parents we can ALL identify with this. We know our kids best. We understand the grave consequences if they make poor choices. We all fear for our kids. None of our kids are 'mature enough'. If they were, we wouldn't be hanging around a forum like this one. Our kids have all been in over their heads. But, here is the million dollar question you have to ask yourself. At what age do you let your son assume responsibility for his own life and realize the consequences of his own choices? You say he's too immature at 22. What are you going to do if he's too immature at 32? How about when he's in his 40's? IF you don't allow him the freedom to make his own choices at 22 (even if you don't agree with them) you are crippling him. I hear your fear jamama. We all do. What his dad does for him is between him and his dad (since bio-dad doesn't seem interested in the team approach). What you are willing to do for your son is your choice as well. Ultimately, what your son decides to do with his life is up to him. It may involve drugs. It may involve dysfunction. It may even involve prison. That's why we are encouraging you to detach. Love him and pray for him. [/QUOTE]
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