goldenguru
Active Member
Thanks Tammy~
I too printed a copy. Mine is posted to the bathroom mirror.
Thanks so much!
I too printed a copy. Mine is posted to the bathroom mirror.
Thanks so much!
How to let go?
- Thread starter goldenguru
- Start date
standswithcourage
New Member
I also have something printed on my mirror in the bathroom and is says Dear me, I dont need your help today. Love, God It reminds me not to help where I am not needed nor can do anything about it. Let go and let God.
goldenguru
Active Member
Great thing to remember stands!!
Have you heard that country song by Carrie Underwood called "Jesus take the wheel"? Well long before that became a sensation, God began to show me that I was in the front seat of my car ... driving, trying to find my way ... having to worry about all the hazards of life ... trying to avoid all of the potential pit falls... it was too much work, too much responsibility, too much stress and worry.
I had to choose to stop the car ... and crawl into the back seat.
I had to choose to let God be in control.
I don't know how that plays out for you. Trusting your higher power. A belief in God. Personal trust in Christ. I suppose it looks a little different for all of us.
The thing is though ...there is such peace being in the proverbial back seat. We have to choose to stay there though. My tendency is to tell God "Hey ... move over I wanna drive for a while". LOL. Big mistake!
Let go of the wheel. It feels great!
Have you heard that country song by Carrie Underwood called "Jesus take the wheel"? Well long before that became a sensation, God began to show me that I was in the front seat of my car ... driving, trying to find my way ... having to worry about all the hazards of life ... trying to avoid all of the potential pit falls... it was too much work, too much responsibility, too much stress and worry.
I had to choose to stop the car ... and crawl into the back seat.
I had to choose to let God be in control.
I don't know how that plays out for you. Trusting your higher power. A belief in God. Personal trust in Christ. I suppose it looks a little different for all of us.
The thing is though ...there is such peace being in the proverbial back seat. We have to choose to stay there though. My tendency is to tell God "Hey ... move over I wanna drive for a while". LOL. Big mistake!
Let go of the wheel. It feels great!
TYLERFAN
New Member
Hi Goldenguru:
This time is all about YOU!
When our children leave, we are supposed to just let them go off and be an adult, right? Yeah well, not so easy, especially if you raised a difficult child, no matter how they are now....
Consider the fact that your childs previous actions have given you a small or large dose of PTSD. We all have it to some degree as difficult child parents. I have it bad. I started by doing simple things, that were very hard at the time. I was also going to FA(Families Anonymous) meetings. Anyway, I put a bunch of phrases I got out of an FA book and kept them by the phone. When difficult child called, I tried to stick to talking about things that were benign....don't get into their personal life and if they bring it up, tell them you are sure they will do the right thing.
Phase 2 was to turn the cell phone off at a certain time....now I have made that time earlier.
Busy yourself with things to do for you! Take a class, read a book, put makeup on everyday (surprising how you will feel better), take a long hot bath...go to work.
Try to recognize the times when you are wondering about your children as normal to the extent that you let them occupy your mind. A therapist of mine once told me when I would get thoughts or a flashback of something bad, I could hold a stop sign up in my head....I literally envisioned a red stop sign...it helped me.
I wish you tons of luck. You can do it
Blessings,
Melissa
This time is all about YOU!
When our children leave, we are supposed to just let them go off and be an adult, right? Yeah well, not so easy, especially if you raised a difficult child, no matter how they are now....
Consider the fact that your childs previous actions have given you a small or large dose of PTSD. We all have it to some degree as difficult child parents. I have it bad. I started by doing simple things, that were very hard at the time. I was also going to FA(Families Anonymous) meetings. Anyway, I put a bunch of phrases I got out of an FA book and kept them by the phone. When difficult child called, I tried to stick to talking about things that were benign....don't get into their personal life and if they bring it up, tell them you are sure they will do the right thing.
Phase 2 was to turn the cell phone off at a certain time....now I have made that time earlier.
Busy yourself with things to do for you! Take a class, read a book, put makeup on everyday (surprising how you will feel better), take a long hot bath...go to work.
Try to recognize the times when you are wondering about your children as normal to the extent that you let them occupy your mind. A therapist of mine once told me when I would get thoughts or a flashback of something bad, I could hold a stop sign up in my head....I literally envisioned a red stop sign...it helped me.
I wish you tons of luck. You can do it
Blessings,
Melissa
goldenguru
Active Member
Consider the fact that your childs previous actions have given you a small or large dose of PTSD. We all have it to some degree as difficult child parents.
OMG Melissa ... this makes soooo much sense to me. I'm have a light bulb moment!! Even still if I call my difficult child and she doesn't answer her phone - my mind IMMEDIATELY goes to all the bad possibilities. At times I even begin to have physical reactions ... racing heart ... sick stomach, etc. It's as if I'm help captive. Sometimes I just feel like I'm holding my breath waiting for the other shoe to hit the floor. I have never thought of it in terms of PTSD.
I had another mom tell me that empty nesting IS ALL ABOUT YOU. However, when we as moms have spent the majority of our lives caring for and dealing with others needs, it's almost too ingrained in us to think differently. Even still when I go shopping I think: "difficult child could use this. My son needs that". I hope that soon I can wander the mall and shop for MOI. LOL.
Thanks.
OMG Melissa ... this makes soooo much sense to me. I'm have a light bulb moment!! Even still if I call my difficult child and she doesn't answer her phone - my mind IMMEDIATELY goes to all the bad possibilities. At times I even begin to have physical reactions ... racing heart ... sick stomach, etc. It's as if I'm help captive. Sometimes I just feel like I'm holding my breath waiting for the other shoe to hit the floor. I have never thought of it in terms of PTSD.
I had another mom tell me that empty nesting IS ALL ABOUT YOU. However, when we as moms have spent the majority of our lives caring for and dealing with others needs, it's almost too ingrained in us to think differently. Even still when I go shopping I think: "difficult child could use this. My son needs that". I hope that soon I can wander the mall and shop for MOI. LOL.
Thanks.
I know I have PTSD. It rears its ugly head each time life throws me yet another curve ball. I have lost much of the confidence I had in myself and have to work really hard to see "the glass as half full, not half empty".
What does help me is thinking of everything I do have to be grateful for...my health, shelter, food, meaningful work and pastimes, a lovely environment, a progressive town, and supportive family and friends.
What does help me is thinking of everything I do have to be grateful for...my health, shelter, food, meaningful work and pastimes, a lovely environment, a progressive town, and supportive family and friends.
