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Hung up on difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 520863" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>wantpeace, my difficult child was also a easy child up until the age of 13. Total easy child . . . excellent student, well-behaved, avid tennis player. There have been others on the board with the same story. I believe that the genetic factor kicks in when hormones kick in. I can even tell you when the big changed happened . . . the last quarter of eighth grade. It was all downhill from there.</p><p></p><p>My difficult child has mental health issues along with substance abuse issues. Which came first? I will never know but I do know that the substance abuse has to stop in order to work on the mental health issues.</p><p></p><p>However, we do not have to accept being abused because our children have mental health or substance abuse issues. They have to learn that we will not put up with that behavior. It's easier for me since my difficult child is older and we can simply choose not to be around her when she is acting out. AG, I think that announcing that your difficult child is out of line and hanging up the phone is very effective. </p><p></p><p>We heard from our difficult child many times that we were messing up her life. Even in the halfway house, she would tell me things and then tell me not to tell anyone or she would get hurt. It was all manipulation. </p><p></p><p>Considering how abusive he still is to you, AG, I really believe that a halfway house is your only solution. I have to warn you though. He is going to fight it tooth and nail and you have to be prepared with option B if he gets kicked out of the halfway house.</p><p></p><p>I was watching Dr. Drew the other night and someone sent in a question about what to do if their substance abusing son didn't have insurance for a treatement program. His answer was to find a halfway house that usually run "only" about $800 a month and to join Nar-anon and that the people there would have advice about other low cost help that is available.</p><p></p><p>I kind of chuckled at the "only" $800 a month. How many of us have an extra $800 a month?</p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 520863, member: 1967"] wantpeace, my difficult child was also a easy child up until the age of 13. Total easy child . . . excellent student, well-behaved, avid tennis player. There have been others on the board with the same story. I believe that the genetic factor kicks in when hormones kick in. I can even tell you when the big changed happened . . . the last quarter of eighth grade. It was all downhill from there. My difficult child has mental health issues along with substance abuse issues. Which came first? I will never know but I do know that the substance abuse has to stop in order to work on the mental health issues. However, we do not have to accept being abused because our children have mental health or substance abuse issues. They have to learn that we will not put up with that behavior. It's easier for me since my difficult child is older and we can simply choose not to be around her when she is acting out. AG, I think that announcing that your difficult child is out of line and hanging up the phone is very effective. We heard from our difficult child many times that we were messing up her life. Even in the halfway house, she would tell me things and then tell me not to tell anyone or she would get hurt. It was all manipulation. Considering how abusive he still is to you, AG, I really believe that a halfway house is your only solution. I have to warn you though. He is going to fight it tooth and nail and you have to be prepared with option B if he gets kicked out of the halfway house. I was watching Dr. Drew the other night and someone sent in a question about what to do if their substance abusing son didn't have insurance for a treatement program. His answer was to find a halfway house that usually run "only" about $800 a month and to join Nar-anon and that the people there would have advice about other low cost help that is available. I kind of chuckled at the "only" $800 a month. How many of us have an extra $800 a month? ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
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