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<blockquote data-quote="FallingIn" data-source="post: 765297" data-attributes="member: 26369"><p>Hi lthurtz,</p><p>Where you are in your journey with your son sounds so familiar to where I am. I am trying to detach from my 26 yo son who is an uncontrolled alcoholic (vodka), goes to ER almost weekly due to intoxication and suicide ideation, and pulls at my heartstrings so strongly. He has no friends and no job, so he gets extremely drunk to numb his pain of depression and hangs out with other drunks downtown. I am enabling him by putting him up in airbnbs so he stays off the streets. I know this is not good as I really can't afford it (I am retired and my husband passed away 3 yrs ago), but I am having a really hard time letting go. The only reason I was able to ask him to leave my house was I now have cancer and going through chemo, I cannot have the chaos he brings around me 24/7. I gather strength reading everyone's posts, seeing that there are others out there who are walking similar paths as I am. I have been living with his chaos since he was about 15 when he dropped out of high school and started drinking heavily. He's been in rehab 3 times, been in trouble with the law - but never been to jail. I really need the advice and support I get here too. I know exactly what I need to do, but have so much trouble doing so. It helps to read about others who have been where we are.</p><p>One word of advice I was given a few years ago from Copa, after asking 'when will it ever end' was "It will end when you say it does". That has stuck with me. Just so hard as we really want to "save" our kids from their bad choices, but knowing we never can.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="FallingIn, post: 765297, member: 26369"] Hi lthurtz, Where you are in your journey with your son sounds so familiar to where I am. I am trying to detach from my 26 yo son who is an uncontrolled alcoholic (vodka), goes to ER almost weekly due to intoxication and suicide ideation, and pulls at my heartstrings so strongly. He has no friends and no job, so he gets extremely drunk to numb his pain of depression and hangs out with other drunks downtown. I am enabling him by putting him up in airbnbs so he stays off the streets. I know this is not good as I really can't afford it (I am retired and my husband passed away 3 yrs ago), but I am having a really hard time letting go. The only reason I was able to ask him to leave my house was I now have cancer and going through chemo, I cannot have the chaos he brings around me 24/7. I gather strength reading everyone's posts, seeing that there are others out there who are walking similar paths as I am. I have been living with his chaos since he was about 15 when he dropped out of high school and started drinking heavily. He's been in rehab 3 times, been in trouble with the law - but never been to jail. I really need the advice and support I get here too. I know exactly what I need to do, but have so much trouble doing so. It helps to read about others who have been where we are. One word of advice I was given a few years ago from Copa, after asking 'when will it ever end' was "It will end when you say it does". That has stuck with me. Just so hard as we really want to "save" our kids from their bad choices, but knowing we never can. [/QUOTE]
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