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husband and holiday
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<blockquote data-quote="Jena" data-source="post: 396399" data-attributes="member: 4514"><p>thanks for the insight ladies <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p> </p><p>I think one of our main problems in our life and our brand new faltering marriage is that we never ever put us first, it's always the kids first. and our old couple counselor said put you guys first all the time, do for eachother first think of eachother first always and than no one gets left out. we do for kids first and foremost all the time, life with difficult child is well you guys know how that goes. than distance begins, resentment and anger build, nasty words are said to eachother and that all equals toxicity.</p><p> </p><p>his responsibilities are : job, kids, ex, than our family. another issue for the therapist. boy this poor man he'll be charging double time for us. i dont' know i still beg to differ, his kids that little girl who i love standing there watching mom hanging off her dad than leaning over to kiss her wife the kids' a wreck. she doesnt' know which way is up as of late. so instead of it making her healthy the whole non bitter thing it has had the opposite effect. also for the ex, because i was totally on board with-this plan for the kids sake years ago yet unfortunately ex is a little uneven and when he does that, for example the next time we do something let's say when we got the puppy or head to my families house for a holiday she curses him out all day long via text, bad mouths him to the kids and tells them dad doesn't care about any of you, etc. and that too is soooo sooo bad.</p><p> </p><p>so i guess if the xmas eve trips really had a lasting positive effect for all, excluding me from scenario i would be hugely happy at and for the kids. yet it doesn't. it's almost like it makes ex feel like she owns him more and than rides him, texts, text me on occassion and works thru kids. for example she bad mouthed me so much and husband that his oldest doesnt' come here anymore at all, except xmas to get gifts. shes highly maniuplative.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jena, post: 396399, member: 4514"] thanks for the insight ladies :) I think one of our main problems in our life and our brand new faltering marriage is that we never ever put us first, it's always the kids first. and our old couple counselor said put you guys first all the time, do for eachother first think of eachother first always and than no one gets left out. we do for kids first and foremost all the time, life with difficult child is well you guys know how that goes. than distance begins, resentment and anger build, nasty words are said to eachother and that all equals toxicity. his responsibilities are : job, kids, ex, than our family. another issue for the therapist. boy this poor man he'll be charging double time for us. i dont' know i still beg to differ, his kids that little girl who i love standing there watching mom hanging off her dad than leaning over to kiss her wife the kids' a wreck. she doesnt' know which way is up as of late. so instead of it making her healthy the whole non bitter thing it has had the opposite effect. also for the ex, because i was totally on board with-this plan for the kids sake years ago yet unfortunately ex is a little uneven and when he does that, for example the next time we do something let's say when we got the puppy or head to my families house for a holiday she curses him out all day long via text, bad mouths him to the kids and tells them dad doesn't care about any of you, etc. and that too is soooo sooo bad. so i guess if the xmas eve trips really had a lasting positive effect for all, excluding me from scenario i would be hugely happy at and for the kids. yet it doesn't. it's almost like it makes ex feel like she owns him more and than rides him, texts, text me on occassion and works thru kids. for example she bad mouthed me so much and husband that his oldest doesnt' come here anymore at all, except xmas to get gifts. shes highly maniuplative. [/QUOTE]
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