husband found a plastic bag with-pot in the car

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by TerryJ2, Jan 6, 2015.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Aaargh! I knew it. difficult child was lying. He has been so cranky lately, and his eyes have been bloodshot. And he's back to saying, "I don't care," and "It doesn't matter." He's also been highly interested in the legalization of pot in Calif, Colo, etc and thinks it should be legal in VA. He's been talking about it a lot lately.

    Since difficult child is grounded from the car for skipping his photography class, husband took the shared car to the car wash today. Vacuumed it, the whole 9 yards.
    Found a Gamestop bag under the seat with-what appears to be either spice or pot.
    It smells very sweet, like tea.
    That explains the two lighters, the skipped school and all that.

    So, there goes the car, the phones (one fell in the toilet but it came back to life but in the meantime, difficult child bought himself another one) and possibly the gaming equip that difficult child bought himself at Best Buy. (We always have a hard time taking away items that were gifts from other people, but gaming is a reward and privilege and difficult child has two Fs on his report card.)

    He should be home any minute. We'll have a family meeting and see what excuse he makes up about the bag.
  2. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    I think you are doing the right thing. I certainly wouldn't want him to have the car if he were doing drugs.
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    "I was holding it for a friend" is popular.

    Like all of our difficult children, in my own personal opinion, none of them need to be driving until they can work and pay for the car. If it were me, and I know you're not ;), the car would no longer be in his life. My daughter was in too many accidents for me to feel good about reckless adult kids driving. One accident, she got sued and lost so she was paying the woman long after she had quit using drugs. It was a good lesson for her too.

    When she finally drove again, it was after she worked, saved for her own beater, and her own expenses. She has never been in an accident since.

    Again, I am puzzled at parents who feel they must produce a car for especially irresponsible kids. If they buy it themselves with no help from us, trust me, they appreciate it more. I know you will make a responsible decision. It's such a pain to have to drive them places (know this first hand) but it beats feeling bad if they get into an accident and kill somebody else or themselves. That scared me enough to do the driving even though I didn't like it.
  4. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    If it were me I would revoke all his privilege's. Thank God your husband was not stopped on his way to the car wash as he very well could have ended up getting arrested.

    When I knew my difficult child was smoking pot I told him if I ever found it in my house that I would call the cops. I was not going to put my home and freedom at risk for him. The day came and I found a bag of pot in his room so I called the cops. They came over and took the pot and had a nice long chat with my son and told him if I ever found pot again that I was to call them and they would arrest him for possession.
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    So, now that we've smelled it 16 million times, we're wondering if that's really what it is. It smells like strawberry or something sweet. difficult child claims that it is scented tobacco and that kids mix it with-other things. Which is rather amusing, since that implies it was going to be mixed with ... pot.
    husband is giving it to an acquaintance who is a police officer to either get it analyzed or get his opinion. Or both.
    difficult child agreed that he has been failing in school and said that he's depressed.
    He skipped some of his medications on vacation and it will take awhile for them to level off again.
    One day a few mo's ago, he said he woke up and thought, "I've decided I'm going to be happy from now on."
    Now, it's "I've decided I''m going to be depressed from now on."
    I asked him if he remembered the happy part. He said yes.
    I mentioned the depressed part, and then pointed out that he skipped some of his lithium. I told him he could be cycling, and that's bipolar. (So far, it's only been labeled mood disorder not otherwise specified.) Either way, we said he HAS to take his medications.
    And he knows we're onto him and his friends.
    He's grounded except for school and work.

    by the way, he said that his girlfriend mostly slept on the couch today when he was at her house. husband asked why she was so tired. difficult child said it was because her mom took her to a 10:45 p.m. movie last night. Great parenting, that. :<
  6. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Terry, they could be smoking it in a hookah which is a water pipe used to smoke flavored tobacco, it's very popular and "in" in the HS set around here. I think it then can progress to mixing it with weed.
  7. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    The bottom line is that he is not responsible and/or stable enough to have the privilege of driving. My youngest is barely responsible enough to sit in a car much less drive one.
  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    girlfriend is probably smoking pot too. Birds of a feather...
  9. 2much2recover

    2much2recover Well-Known Member

  10. Hope_Floats

    Hope_Floats Member

    Yeah, that stuff scares the s%&t out of me.
  11. 2much2recover

    2much2recover Well-Known Member

    I think it's a denial thing - it allows the parent to still be able to say "my kid is not on drugs" Well yeah, but this so called legal stuff could have even worse consequences.
  12. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Synthetic weed has been banned where I live. Kids here tend to drink something called purple syrup. It is cough medicine mixed with 7-up. Cough syrup is not illegal, but the drink is deadly.
  13. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Many of our over the counter drugs are now behind the counter where only a pharmacist can give it to you. These are not illegal drugs, but they are abused anyway...and often dangerous.

    That's why it's impossible to accurately drug test anyone. Half the stuff that gets them high, and which is just plain deadly, is legal.

    Back in the day, when they put codeine in cough syrup my dad, who owned a pharmacy, was held at gunpoint by two addicts on my wedding day. I was wondering if he wasn't going to show up and why. What a shock to find out why.
  14. 2much2recover

    2much2recover Well-Known Member

    This site should have a sticky for drug use, current names and dangers!!!
    Well the reason it can be deadly is again !!!Dangerous!!! depending on WHAT cough syrup they are using...............some are using it with the adictable drug called Codene in it, at least I think that's what the orgianl Sizzurp (Also known as purple drank) is - don't laugh at me and how I know, that is what Rob Kardashian is addicted to.
  15. 2much2recover

    2much2recover Well-Known Member

    In an honest effort at disclosure my difficult child has done plenty of drugs in her life. Being an over-achiever we found out she was dealing pot in pound quantities at the age of 15. She is now 40, is a white collar functioning alcoholic and abuser of Xanax. When I was last in contact with her, late last year, I had already discovered that she was stealing and using both my pain and anxiety medications. Like most of us with difficult child's, we can't confront hem unless we, ourselves want to be emotionally and mentally abused (called a liar as well) I did not confront her but hid my pills when I knew she was coming over so she couldn't steal them. Shakes head in shame................
  16. Albatross

    Albatross Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear it, TJ2. Synthetic marijuana can be some pretty dangerous stuff, as others have pointed out, not to mention the mood swings and the complete loss of ambition. I think it is a good idea to come down on him the way you have and to see exactly what you are dealing with.
  17. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    When my son was in HS and bombing out on all subjects, sleeping all the time, etc., we noticed he talked a lot about his "rights" and about the fact that if beer is legal, pot should be as well. He went on and on about it, and about how unfair it was. That, in conjunction with all the other bells and whistles (finding lighters in his pockets, bloodshot eyes, visine in his medicine cabinet, he'd fall asleep on an open box of chocolate donuts and have a mess all over his shirt, lots of other clues) we bought a self test drug kit from a major drugstore chain. It was a spectrum test, cost about $40, and my husband tested him by surprise. He went crazy, spouting about his "rights" and how we were violating his privacy, etc., tried to protest his way out of it, but in the end, he took it and tested positive for THC. It stays in your system for quite some time. He graduated to meth, crack and who-knows-what after that. Wanted to exercise his rights to expand his mind, I guess. It was a holy mess around here for a long time.
  18. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    They still make it they just don't give it out much, I thought it tasted horrible and would never take it. It was Robitussin C. The Dr's figured out they could give Lortab or Vicodin for the cough and Guafenesin for the phlegm. Of course I am not sure how that is an improvement but it was what the local docs were doing a few years back. (Military docs are still old school and use the cough syrup.)

    There was another cough syrup with codeine in it called Tussionex. Banana flavored and yummy as could be. That was some good stuff. We had a whole crew of people trying to get their hands on it. LOL
  19. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    There is a great cough medication out now called Dr cocoa but its for kids....LOL. about the fruit smelling stuff, they now have flavored pot coming from the legal states
  20. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    Yeah, don't like that one! Doctor gave it to me almost two years ago and I took one dose. Its now on my allergic list as it made me loopy as hell and I woke up in the middle of the night struggling to breathe.