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husband had an affair
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<blockquote data-quote="skeeter" data-source="post: 70279" data-attributes="member: 439"><p>Karen - </p><p>I read this last night, but wanted to think a bit before I posted.</p><p></p><p>My ex didn't cheat on me, but other than that, you could have been writing about us. His one complaint was I wasn't affectionate enough, and I honestly thought that was just the way I was.</p><p>However, I had many complaints, which are neither here nor there, but enough that I finally called it quits - after 16 years of marriage (and 3 years of dating beforehand). I just knew that nothing would ever get any "better", and I honestly just couldn't see living my life that way any longer.</p><p></p><p>Our kids have often made the comment that they don't know how I stayed with him as long as I did. As much as they love their dad, they now "see" him without me running interference - and they really don't like what they see. Both have, on separate occasions, told me he drives them nuts, and both have expressed disgust with him for "forgetting" something important or promised.</p><p></p><p>But - back to the closeness thing. When I met my husband, it was one of those "lightbulb" moments. Here was someone that I could ENJOY being with. Someone I honestly looked forward to being with. Someone I shared good times with, someone I could also work alongside, and someone who had the same life goals as I did.</p><p></p><p>And guess what? I've become that "hand holding / hugging / touching" person - at least with my husband!</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Karen - only you can decide what you need to do with your future, and with ALL that's on your plate now, this probably isn't the best time to decide. There's honestly nothing wrong with taking your time to think things through.</p><p>But YOU deserve happiness. You've tried to make things work, and it's not. Do you think it will? Even if they do, will you be happy? Would you be happy on your own (I would have been if I hadn't met husband). Does your husband share the same long term life goals as you do (I hardly think so by his actions).</p><p></p><p>The most important thing I want to say to you is: YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG! STOP SAYING THAT YOU AREN'T A DEMONSTRATIVE PERSON AND THAT GIVES YOUR husband A "RIGHT" TO DO WHAT HE DID! It doesn't.</p><p></p><p>((((((hugs)))))) to you and to a better future......</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="skeeter, post: 70279, member: 439"] Karen - I read this last night, but wanted to think a bit before I posted. My ex didn't cheat on me, but other than that, you could have been writing about us. His one complaint was I wasn't affectionate enough, and I honestly thought that was just the way I was. However, I had many complaints, which are neither here nor there, but enough that I finally called it quits - after 16 years of marriage (and 3 years of dating beforehand). I just knew that nothing would ever get any "better", and I honestly just couldn't see living my life that way any longer. Our kids have often made the comment that they don't know how I stayed with him as long as I did. As much as they love their dad, they now "see" him without me running interference - and they really don't like what they see. Both have, on separate occasions, told me he drives them nuts, and both have expressed disgust with him for "forgetting" something important or promised. But - back to the closeness thing. When I met my husband, it was one of those "lightbulb" moments. Here was someone that I could ENJOY being with. Someone I honestly looked forward to being with. Someone I shared good times with, someone I could also work alongside, and someone who had the same life goals as I did. And guess what? I've become that "hand holding / hugging / touching" person - at least with my husband! Karen - only you can decide what you need to do with your future, and with ALL that's on your plate now, this probably isn't the best time to decide. There's honestly nothing wrong with taking your time to think things through. But YOU deserve happiness. You've tried to make things work, and it's not. Do you think it will? Even if they do, will you be happy? Would you be happy on your own (I would have been if I hadn't met husband). Does your husband share the same long term life goals as you do (I hardly think so by his actions). The most important thing I want to say to you is: YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG! STOP SAYING THAT YOU AREN'T A DEMONSTRATIVE PERSON AND THAT GIVES YOUR husband A "RIGHT" TO DO WHAT HE DID! It doesn't. ((((((hugs)))))) to you and to a better future...... [/QUOTE]
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