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husband is a difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="gcvmom" data-source="post: 176216" data-attributes="member: 3444"><p>Linda,</p><p> </p><p>My husband acknowledges that the medications help him control his anger better, and help him to be more patient with life. Even the kids tell him they notice the difference. He sees that he is less obesessed about the things he was compulsive over, but he claims that it is only because I have told him to be that way (which I have... for the last 19 years! So why is he able to do it now, and not before?).</p><p> </p><p>He would never believe me if I said I think you are X and need to take Y to solve your problems. It's ironic that he had a seizure disorder which led him to the medications (and surgery) that have improved things so much in the past year. Frankly, I don't think the seizure disorder is the sole source of his issues, especially when I look at his family of origin.</p><p> </p><p>Anyway, you have to decide for yourself what you will or will not tolerate. And you don't even need to say a word to husband about it because that's like asking for permission. It's simply an agreement you have with yourself, just like you already have with regard to physical abuse. How you respond to his behavior determines the outcome. Would you want your children in a relationship where they are verbally threatened, attacked and insulted? What are they learning from you? Okay, I'm done preaching <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p> </p><p>I really liked the book "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans. Perhaps your library has a copy. It gave me some good ideas for how to change my own behavior in response to the way someone else treats me. </p><p> </p><p>I hope you get the support you need!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gcvmom, post: 176216, member: 3444"] Linda, My husband acknowledges that the medications help him control his anger better, and help him to be more patient with life. Even the kids tell him they notice the difference. He sees that he is less obesessed about the things he was compulsive over, but he claims that it is only because I have told him to be that way (which I have... for the last 19 years! So why is he able to do it now, and not before?). He would never believe me if I said I think you are X and need to take Y to solve your problems. It's ironic that he had a seizure disorder which led him to the medications (and surgery) that have improved things so much in the past year. Frankly, I don't think the seizure disorder is the sole source of his issues, especially when I look at his family of origin. Anyway, you have to decide for yourself what you will or will not tolerate. And you don't even need to say a word to husband about it because that's like asking for permission. It's simply an agreement you have with yourself, just like you already have with regard to physical abuse. How you respond to his behavior determines the outcome. Would you want your children in a relationship where they are verbally threatened, attacked and insulted? What are they learning from you? Okay, I'm done preaching :) I really liked the book "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans. Perhaps your library has a copy. It gave me some good ideas for how to change my own behavior in response to the way someone else treats me. I hope you get the support you need! [/QUOTE]
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