husband is making things worse

[Desarirain]

Tonight we drove the boys to my moms for the weekend. He was driving extremely fast and swirving in & out of traffic. I asked if everyone was buckled in and MT said no. husband screamed at him "why arent you buckled?" and MT said the buckle piece is missing. We have a van and the seat folds and if you dont unfold it properly the seatbelt falls out.

Anyway, husband pulls over two lanes of traffic and stops on the side of the freeway. Helps get the seatbelt fixed and continues to drive fast. MT says "I'm sorry dad, but there wasnt a buckle."

husband replied "Dont talk to me."

The boys school counselor advised me to get out of this situation soon, she spoke with the boys earlier today. She feels he will snap. So, now I am scrambling to find funds to get us to a safer environment out of state. I am giving stuff away and really prioritizing the things that are important to take. I feel if I stay in this state we will continue the on again off again relationship.

 

[totoro]

I don't know your history or what you and your Husband have been through. But if you are in fear or you fear for your kids I think you should take care of yourself and the kids. If it means leaving, you have to do what is right. It is not fair for the kids to be scared. Even mental abuse is horrible.
There have been quite a few women here who have had to flee or leave men who were treating them or their children wrong.
Please seek help from a shelter or family or friends if you need it. Please keep posting if you want or need our support.
Hang in there.

 

[gcvmom]

Check with your county on shelters for women and children if you don't have family to go to. They are usually very good about keeping your identity private and can put you in contact with resources you will need to get started on your own again.

Sending major hugs and prayers for strength and courage to get through this!

 

[BusynMember]

I worked in a woman's shelter in Wisconsin, a great one. Many times women from other states ran with their kids to us from abusive men. Descreetly call woman's shelters in other states. They will probably let you stay without paying a dime and, while you are there, everyone gets counseling and help with finding work and shelter. I know our shelter allows people to stay for six months. I personally know a woman who ran with seven kids and stayed there the whole six months. She now is renting a house with financial help from the state. She has a job. Don't stay.

 

[susiestar]

RUN. IF you are not safe, and feel he will snap it is NOT because of the state. It is because HIM. Do NOT place the blame on the state you live in, he is an adult and responsible for his action. If there is a chance that you and/or the kids are in danger RUN!!!!!! Go to a women's shelter in your area, or as far away as you can get on a tank of gas. Take what you can SAFELY take, stuff is not important. The kids and you are.

RUN!!!!!!!
Any women's shelter will help you, just find one and GO while he is at work or away. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't compromise safety for stuff. GO!

 

[Andy]

If the school counselor is advising I would drop everything and get out NOW! Counselors don't hand out this advise very easily. Follow the other's advise on women's shelters - your local Salvation Army may help find one.

Has the school counselor reported anything to CPS? The counselor would be a mandatory reporter if she has any inkling at all that the kids are in danger. If you do get a visit from CPS, it may just set husband off.

Get out - Do not let the kids in a vehicle with him behind the wheel.

 

[KTMom91]

Please don't wait. Find a shelter, grab your boys, and go.

 

[TerryJ2]

Desa, he does sound volatile and lacking in judgment. So sorry.
What is your timeline? I wouldn't give it another wk. I'd go this weekend.
Anywhere.
If he sees you giving things away and making plans, he'll flip. You've got to be fast and make it clean.
Good luck!!!!!