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husband lied to me
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<blockquote data-quote="Steely" data-source="post: 408068" data-attributes="member: 3301"><p>Jena, I know I sound all lovey and the world is a big cupcake - but the reality it that I learned a lot from my lost 2 marriages. If I had it to do over again, with a new wonderful man, I would hope I could be more understanding, more forgiving, less intense, less critical, and just enjoy the man I have waited for so long for. Maybe in a way I am envious that you have a man that seems to try so hard. I don't know what I would do if my husband of my dreams lied to me - but I guess from my perspective there is so much chaos going on in your house - I am not sure how someone could not be doing something dysfunctional, at any given moment. How can anyone not feel like acting out? </p><p></p><p>That is all - I just urge you to be gentle, and maybe lower the bar a little. His lying to you is not OK - yet nothing that is going on with the kids is OK either. Until all of that calms down, I am not sure it is fair to try and make your marriage exactly what you expect. That is a tall order when all the other poop is hitting the fan. Sometimes, it just is what it is - for the time - until you guys have more of a healthy mental space to work this all out.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Steely, post: 408068, member: 3301"] Jena, I know I sound all lovey and the world is a big cupcake - but the reality it that I learned a lot from my lost 2 marriages. If I had it to do over again, with a new wonderful man, I would hope I could be more understanding, more forgiving, less intense, less critical, and just enjoy the man I have waited for so long for. Maybe in a way I am envious that you have a man that seems to try so hard. I don't know what I would do if my husband of my dreams lied to me - but I guess from my perspective there is so much chaos going on in your house - I am not sure how someone could not be doing something dysfunctional, at any given moment. How can anyone not feel like acting out? That is all - I just urge you to be gentle, and maybe lower the bar a little. His lying to you is not OK - yet nothing that is going on with the kids is OK either. Until all of that calms down, I am not sure it is fair to try and make your marriage exactly what you expect. That is a tall order when all the other poop is hitting the fan. Sometimes, it just is what it is - for the time - until you guys have more of a healthy mental space to work this all out. [/QUOTE]
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